Cats

Kevcoy

Hi all. I'm still here but haven't posted anything in a long time but I have been reading what you all are putting out here. I have something going on that I haven't seen here and would like to get some feedback. We lost one of our Westies in April and are now down to one dog. For some reason her death hasn't really soaked in with my DH and he still refers to "the dogs" and will call for our dog who died to eat or go outside. We also have three inside cats that we've had for seven years who have never been interested in going outside. Recently when he is putting our dog out he has been calling one of our cats by the name of the dog we lost to go outside too. I try to explain that only the dog goes outside and the cats stay in. The other day I saw him grab the cat and put her outside. Luckily I was there and scooped her up and brought her in. The other day I was by the back door and heard some scratching and there was our cat outside again. I am so worried he's going to put the cat outside when I'm not there and she will wander away, get hurt or even killed. I'm not sure what to do to stop him from doing this so any suggestions would be most helpful.

Kevcoy

BTW the picture on my profile is Oreo who he is putting outside.

Denise1847

Hi Kevcoy, If your DH is mistaking the cat for a dog and keeps putting it outside, do you think he is safe to be left by himself. That is, if there was a fire or some other emergency, would he know what to do? Can he use his phone to call 911? I wonder what other things he might get into while you are not there.

That being said, How about a camera that views the door that is used for the dog to be put out? Also, maybe a luggage tag tracking device on the cat's collar. Perhaps alert your neighbors. Is there some way you can rig up a cataco (not sure this is practical, but it is a starter idea.)

I am so sorry you are having this problem. Our pets are our fur babies.

SDianeL

so sorry about you having to worry about your fur babies. You won't be able to reason with him. His "reasoner" is broken. It will only get worse. I don't think he should be left alone. My DH's nurse asked him what he would do if a fire broke out in our apartment. He thought a long time and said he would try to put it out. She talked with him a little longer and asked him what else he would do if a fire broke out. He thought a long time and said "nothing" -- I was shocked!! He wouldn't know to get out or call 911. He would die in the fire. People with dementia start fires by not using appliances and electrical things correctly. After that video call with the nurse, I never left him home alone after that. Can you put the cats somewhere he can't get to them? There are many stories on this forum about having pets when your LO has dementia. Maybe search for them to see what tips they give? Please keep us posted.

Jgirl57

So sorry about your Westie and the shock your poor cat is probably in finding himself outside . I don’t think your DH will stop because he thinks two fur babies need to go outside . This is a tough one . (my grand dog is a Westie) Hopefully someone will have an idea to protect the cat.

Howaboutnow

i’m sorry. Issues here too with doors left wide open for house cats to get out…sometimes in middle of night. I installed child-safety things on doors that he can’t figure out…but he’s broken some of them. Installing some of the security latches someone else had posted here recently that are stronger. They screw into your door jam…from amazon. Defender Security U 11126 Door Reinforcement Lock – Add Extra, High Security to your Home and Prevent Unauthorized Entry – 3 In. Stop, Aluminum Construction, Bronze (Single Pack) https://a.co/d/1uQfzjT.

If you were going to be gone, is there a room in the house you could secure and put the cats in before you left?

HollyBerry

This is my great fear - we have 2 small dogs, and 3 cats who will occasionally sneak out. There's no way my partner could take care of the problem if one of the cats got out and I wasn't here to help. Will the dog use potty pads? Hopefully the next phase will be that your husband stops letting the dog out at all... potty pads may keep the dog from asking to go out and make it less likely your husband will let the cat out, too.

That's not helpful. Collars, tags, microchips on all of them. Let your neighbors know what's happening. Join your NextDoor group so you can see any "found cat" posts. Look closely at your fence to find any escape spots, and repair them. We had a cat years ago who loved going out with the dogs and who was too fat to escape... train the cats to come running when they hear the treat container shaking? You probably can't change your husband's behavior, so find a way to get the vats to stay in the yard and come back when you call them??? Good luck. I feel for you and all your critters.

Marta

The bigger issue is that your DH is likely not safe alone. If you focus on that issue, the cats will be safe.

trottingalong

i agree with others that you may have an issue leaving him alone at this point, is it possible to put your cat in another room when you leave?

Pat6177

I understand that many of our PWDs can’t be left alone but what do you do when you have to use the bathroom? Etc, etc I liked the suggestion of a camera.

Kevcoy

Some great suggestions, thank you. I had a chuckle about what to do when going to the bathroom.