When is the right time to tell others?

gabby_0789

when is it the right time to tell others or do I need to? By others I mean for example if we are going to an extended family member party that doesn’t know about my mom do I need to give a heads up? My concern is that they will tell her things like “don’t you remember” or “you already told me that”. It’ll be a reminder to her about her diagnosis and I don’t want her to get upset.

Anonymousjpl123

I waited until others asked. Most people knew by the time I got involved. Is your mom aware of the diagnosis.? Maybe you could talk to her? I feel it’s so individual. Every person responds so differently.

Everyone who is around my mom is aware of her diagnosis, but she is not. I still find it jarring when I see “dementia” on all my mom’s mychart/records stuff and thank god she can’t use the internet.

Emily 123

Hi--I think a heads up never hurts. It can make people a bit more careful in conversation, though they seem to figure it out if the person is elderly. Maybe family can share amongst each other?

A good tip for them is to ditch the 'Do you remember when ...' and instead lead off with..."I recall when...'

psg712

Agree with giving a heads up to the people most likely to interact with her, especially if she is likely to be upset by references to events she can't remember.

The down side of this is that it makes it more stressful for the friends. Old friends like to reminisce. Some of my mom's friends couldn't figure out anything to talk about if they couldn't say "remember when we ...". I encouraged them just to tell her their family news - present day stuff.