Picture phone- good idea? bad idea?

lauraleaf23

My mom has recently had a lot of trouble using her phone and this has become a source of a lot of anxiety. It is a cordless phone and she struggles to use it. I'm afraid she'll forget how to answer when I call. It seems she is now in the middle stage of Alz, so I know it's not going to get any better.

I bought a picture phone I thought may make it easier to call me. Good idea? Bad idea?

I don't know if she'll even be able to use it- it may be more confusing to introduce something new. And will she call me all the time if she does know how to use it? I hate the feeling that she can't get ahold of me when she wants to. She's in an assisted living place, and they have helped her call me a few times recently.

Any insight or thoughts are appreciated.

terei

I honestly question whether she will be able to figure it out. I ended up getting my mom an old fashioned land line phone + even that was a problem. When she heard it ringing she would ask “what is that noise?’. Is she in a facility?

lauraleaf23

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/188142#Comment_188142

Yeah, I'm thinking even if she figures it out at first, it may not be long before she is unable to use it... She is currently in an assisted living facility. It seems like anything new is cause for a huge amount of stress

dancsfo

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/188173#Comment_188173

Is your intent to use it casual chatting, or perhaps for urgent calls to you? I presume the AL staff can make calls on her behalf if needed for urgent needs, like you wrote, but you don't want to rely on them too much if it's is not critical.

I think anything new may be stressful, and like you said, may work only for a while.

Another choice is to use a smart speaker, like an Amazon Echo (Alexa), Apple HomePod or Google's Nest Mini (hands free and uses voice recognition: just say "Call Laura"), but my experience is that it's also confusing since a voice comes "out of nowhere" if you end up calling her, it starts speaking and your mom usually expects a phone to ring first. But if you already have compatible equipment, they can be inexpensive, and may be worth a try. They cay require an additional device (An extra Alexa device for yourself, or an Apple device to make phone calls at your mom's. Google's requirements are here)

My thoughts: When it's working, voice recognition is great. When it fails, it's a pain to troubleshoot. I presume your picture phone is a simple device. It's just a landline phone with caller ID.

There are instances I've read here that some PWD will call others many times a day, and results in caregivers taking away the privilege to make such calls. That also creates stress for a PWD since it takes away some capability a PWD previously had. But if the inability to make calls on her calls using a conventional phone creates a struggle, there's no easy solution either way.

GemsWinner12

This is a tough one, because my Dad was scammed a lot through the phone and computer before I realized what was going on and now he has just a simple flip phone from consumer cellular and he does not have access to his financial information. I'm the POA for everything and handle all his bills, taxes, etc. The last time he was in the hospital, someone got ahold of several of his credit cards and charged up thousands. It was a nightmare mess for me to sort out and clean up. I don't want to be a fear-monger by any means, but the scammers have gotten quite clever and will even impersonate family members and try to talk people into giving out personal information.

NUMber2

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/67009/picture-phone-good-idea-bad-idea

I bought this exact phone for my mom because she was getting the "two remotes" confused- the TV remote and the telephone remote. Just like your LO, the phone was stressing my mom out, so I decided that there just had to be a change.

My mom was also having trouble remembering to hang up her cordless phone, which resulted in several hours of a busy signal until I could get her attention through Alexa and tell her to hang up her phone.

I bought her this phone and kept the cordless part of the phone in the box. I'll introduce it to her at some point but not while she's getting accustom to the corded phone. Two months in and we've had less phone stress.

I didn't use pictures because they were too small. I typed people's names in a bold color so she could see them.

2parents/brain change

My mom had her phone for months, after initially being on the institutional care track, which she has been on for about 18 months now.

The phone was a constant aggravation. She would lose it, or forget to charge it. She would call and cry or wail for one of us to come and pick her up.

As her delusions cleared up, the phone never really assisted her. Having a phone never really assisted her. During her stint in our nephew's home she called 911.

Maybe that is the question? We want assistance for our loved ones. Can phones in any way really provide assistance for them? It can't change the brain change which means forgetfulness and confusion are still a part of their daily existence.

Sometimes you have to spend money on a temporary fix and just take the hit. We have done that with several things, like specialized puzzles and digital picture frames.

My in laws just bought Dad a phone with pictures in spite of my husband's objections. I think it's for them, not Dad. and I think it's something they just have to try. It kicks denial down the road. Dad is in a good facility for memory care.

Peace, and try to remember to breathe and live your truth, above all else!

J