DH becoming more negative and angry

annie51

My DH has lately become angry with me more often and is getting very negative about everything. While there are still times that he is happy and fun, it seems harder for me to keep him that way. Example: every time we get in the car to drive I have to bear nasty comments about EVERY other driver, every long wait at a traffic light, everyone is an idiot (I'm using a substitute word here, lol)...you get the picture. I'm walking on eggshells most of the time to make sure I don't upset him but sometimes I end up saying the wrong thing and making him more upset. Besides trying to be better about handling this, is this where I need to think about medications? He is only on Namenda now. He doesn't have a neurologist but his primary is a geriatrician. I don't know anything about other medications at this point and I don't get a lot of "alone" time to talk to someone without him hearing.

GG06

Hi Annie,

Before my husband started taking Zoloft (sertraline), he was angry, negative, paranoid, anxious, and difficult to be around. It was miserable. My feet were bleeding from all the eggshells I walked on! The anti-depressant was incredibly helpful for my husband. I hope your DH’s doctor can find a solution that helps. Virtual hugs to you.

CindyBum

I'm so sorry you're going through this. I'm right there with you, though my DW is a little less angry at the rest of the world, but has decided that I'm the problem. I'm controlling where she sits, apparently, and controlling her life and making all the decisions. I'm not doing any of those things yet, because I still ask her what she'd like to do even if she can't really figure it out on her own. It's so much fun to be in charge of everything, giving everything all your love and attention to be told how much you suck at it. Sarcasm is my only savior right now. I still haven't developed thick enough skin to not be hurt by the person who used to love me so much, really resenting me now.

All my own complaining aside, I do think the idea of an anti-depressant is worth trying out for your DH. That has helped my DW, but I think the new addition of hallucinations has probably pushed her to needing something else here soon.

harshedbuzz

@annie51

I am sorry you are living with this.

I think it's time to consider medication. Perhaps his PCP will prescribe or-- even better-- refer you to a geri psych.

Depression in men often presents as irritability, so an SSRI might be a good choice. Dad was already on Prozac when diagnosed, so his geri psych increased the dosage initially. After a time, he added an atypical antipsychotic (Seroquel) as dad's behavior trended into agitation and aggression.

HB

SDianeL

Exactly where you are. You can't keep him happy. Don't try. You can't reason with him because as other said to me, "his reasoner is broken". It's caused by their loss of control and happens when he's stressed. Not your fault. My DH talks constantly when we're in the car. He complains about the bumps in the road, the other cars, how I apply the brakes, did I check the tires? It's called chattering. I try to ignore it but it makes me so nervous I don't enjoy going anywhere with him anymore. Yes, medication will help. My DH is on Risperidone for agitation & hallucinations but it hasn't helped his chattering in the car. Get a referral to a Geriatric Psychiatrist if you can. They are the best ones to monitor medications. Ours has been the only doctor who has helped. We tried Mirtazapine for depression but he reacted badly so he's off of it. Waiting to see what the doctor wants to try next. Write down his behaviors so you can communicate them to the doctors. That helps me more than anything. You get so little time with the doctor and it's difficult to remember what you want to tell them.

ThisLife

Geriatric PCP initially put my husband on an antidepressant which helped.

Denise1847

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/188267#Comment_188267

Hi CindyBum, One thing that has helped me is that someone on our forum said to think of this disease as "brain cancer" because it is destroying our LO's brains. It helped me to stop being angry and hurt and to be compassion. I hope this helps. I know how you feel and it isn't fun. My DH is on Zoloft because he started to get agitated. Perhaps that would help.

Denise1847

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/67043/dh-becoming-more-negative-and-angry

Our doctor put my DH on Zoloft when he became agitated and it has helped alot.

Drapper

My husband is on seroquel and Zoloft. Seroquel has helped anger issues significantly. Zoloft was recently added to address OCD tendencies, jury is still out on that.

there are still some eggshells situations, but much less and shorter duration. I would pursue. His neurologist prescribes.

justbreathe2

My DH has been on Donepezil and the neurologist recently increased the dosage. Same issues as most of you. He is also obsessive with our 12 year old Max. Overfeeding, long walks numerous times and giving into all his demands. We love our dog, but it is wearing on me with his excessive worry if Max wanders into another room to sleep, or if licking his feet, scratching. Sent the Neurologist a note asking about an anxiety med. He respond that he does not treat anxiety symptoms, but would prescribe 50 mg Zoloft and if it doesn’t help to see a PCP/Behavior health.

We are on day 2 of Zoloft. He has been having some gastrointestinal issues and a side effect of the med. Hope this does not last long because my DH was resistant on taking it. My DH does have some OCD tendencies from the past. So hoping I will see some improvement in my DH soon.

HollyBerry

Lexapro (?) - escitalopram - has been the right antidepressant for my partner. Has helped with mood and the constant criticism of every breath I take.

M1

Zoloft can cause loose stools/diarrhea, but higher dose of donepezil can also have GI side effects.. Unfortunately Zoloft can take up to two weeks to take effect. Do you have a psychiatrist lined up? You may want to go ahead and make an appointment as there may be a wait. You can tell your dh it's for a second opinion if he's resistant. I don't like the neurologist response to you, I'd drop him honestly. Callous and narrowminded IMHO.

JanetCS

We are living the same life with the same man. I have almost bitten my tongue OFF trying not to say the wrong comment that sets him off. The constant barks at other drivers. I agree, Zoloft is on my to do list to discuss with his Dr. I am surviving by watching Teepa Snow videos. Alzheimer’s horse whisperer. And Joyce Myers. I go on walks to have private conversations just to have normal conversations. Praying for you!!!!! I know EXACTLY what your going thru.❤️❤️❤️

justbreathe2

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/189846#Comment_189846

Thank you for your reply M1. We have an appointment with our PCP on few weeks and he will discuss with me then. Unfortunately, in our area we have few neurologists. I do not like him and feel the medical field has let me down. Thankfully my DH doesn’t remember he is taking Zoloft , so I am hoping his side effects will wear off in few weeks.

M1

You'll find a lot of threads on these boards debating the necessity of a neurologist once the diagnosis is made. Some want one, others do not. the brutal truth is that they don't have much to offer therapeutically, and if they are unfeeling on top of that, I'd let it go and see if there is someone better out there that can meet your DH' needs.

Dio

Annie, if you don't have a diagnosis of which dementia your DH is suffering from, it may be hard to find the right meds. Even if you do have a diagnosis, it's still trial and error. Best to discuss with his doctors and proceed carefully. Some meds can have paradoxical effects. There isn't a cookie cutter to treatment, but the sooner you get started, the better chance of landing on the right med(s).