Borderline dementia

Wintergirl

Hello, I'm new here and thankful to find some support. I take care of my father who lives with me. He has had dementia symptoms for the two years he has lived with me, so his dr. suggested an evaluation. He had an occupational therapy driving test which said he was fine to drive and a Neuroquant MRI which showed brain volume loss, but still the dr at the geriatric medicine ctr said was not yet diagnosable dementia, but needs to be followed up with another evaluation in 6 mo.

I don't know what to do with the behavior and symptoms he has - memory loss, inability to make decisions, inability to order things sequentially, agitation, lack of personal hygiene, hiding things, needing help paying bills and managing finances, not remembering how to go nearly anywhere outside of town (but they still say he is okay to drive!?)

I've been doing this by myself for almost 2yrs with only the help of my husband. There is no other family and my dad has isolated himself since he retired and has no friends or other family and refuses to be involved with other people.

I guess I just need some suggestions and perspective from others. Any feedback would be welcome.

Thanks

M1

Welcome to the forum. Hard to believe what they told you, by what you're describing. Six months will pass quickly. You could always seek a second opinion, but frankly as the therapeutic options are so limited, i don't know that a second opinion would do much except maybe give you more validation. My sense would be to trust your gut, and if common sense tells you not to let him drive, so be it: the stakes are very high for you and everyone else on the road.

To my mind, the isolation is also quite telling; my partner did this too, and she gradually withdrew both from friends and colleagues. I think on some level she realized that she couldn't keep up and it was a self-protective reflex in a way. She was a lifelong introvert anyway, and dementia just took it to a new level. Apathy and loss of executive function are also part of the disease, and she just gradually stopped doing a lot of things where previously she had no problem keeping herself occupied.

It is very isolating to be a caregiver. This forum has been a huge, huge help in that regard and i hope you will find that to be true as well.

Wintergirl

Thank you M1. I guess it’s a waiting game. I’m thankful I’ve found this forum.

Jeanne C.

Hi and welcome. The people on this forum have been an incredible help to me.

Were you able to share your observations with his doc? Definitely keep track of symptoms and behaviors. The doctor sees him for maybe 30 minutes and your father can call on his cognitive reserve for that short time. You're the one seeing the day-to-day.

Definitely keep reading and posting. We're in this together.

Wintergirl

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/188428#Comment_188428

Thanks Jeanne. I did share all these concerns with the dr. and her staff in a very lengthy phone meeting. It seemed to me that she placed all the weight on the tests, and not much on the day-to-day behaviors.

Anonymousjpl123

@Wintergirl it may take a few visits and you advocating before they diagnose. I found my mother was able to “showtime” for the doctor, meaning she did quite well on the tests in the beginning with a lot of effort on her part, when her dementia first started causing problems. It was maddening.

We (caregivers) see things up close and others do not. Be prepared that things may progress slowly, or not, over the next 6 months. Getting things in order, learning about resources, now, will help you so much in the future. Glad you found this site.