Hello - My Story

SBGal

Hello! I had been to the ALZ website before looking for support groups and just saw this discussion community! How wonderful because I was having trouble with trying to attend a group.
My story - DH is an only child. My FIL just passed away 8 months ago, leaving my MIL. DH and I didn't quite realize the extent to which FIL was doing things for MIL but she did have a dementia diagnosis maybe a year before his death. Mostly forgetting the date, or misplacing items. After FIL passing, we had to begin staying at her home at night as she is very afraid of being alone at night; we knew in advance this would be necessary. We have always lived on the same street as them so this is about as ideal a situation as you can have. We stay in a bedroom down the hall from her and go to our home in the morning and after work. We carry overnight bags items need as we don't really have storage in the room we stay in. However, we had anticipated that we could stay in the former "in-law" quarters which is attached to the house so we could have a bit of our own living area, TV, etc. A few weeks after FIL passed, DH bought up this possibility with MIL and she came unglued, was hostile and very upset. This area is "too far away" from her room for us to respond in an emergency. By the evening, it was like nothing had happened. But now we are tip-toeing around wanting to make this happen.
Weekly, we have hostile "flare-ups", mostly surrounding us not being there enough on the weekends with her; doing things differently in her house. We are very frustrated already with our new life. I am trying to be very patient and completely realize that she is still heavily grieving her best friend and that she is trying to adapt to a new living arrangement too. Thanks for letting me vent.