I do not think mom was ever happy, could there be a link?

TrumpetSwan

I believe any answer to my question could never have a scientific basis or ever be proved or disproved, but sometimes I just wonder if my mother's overall unhappy status with her life might have any connection to her current dementia.

Plenty of times my mother could be cheerful, happy, sociable, and funny. She has had several lifelong friends. She and my dad have been married for 60 years, they have kids and grand kids and a beautiful home. However, regardless of how many blessings she had, she always complained about some aspect of it. She never seemed to have the ability to see the goodness in her life. I used to try to point out the good things she had, but she would shrug off my comments or make fun of my attempts. She had a friend once who bought her a 'gratitude journal', so I wonder if I was not the only one who saw this about her.

She always looks to conditions outside of herself to make her happy. Her happiness just never seemed innately cultivated. I am unsure if she had any internal guidance that has ever grounded her.

These are my thoughts only and I have never shared them with anyone. I just wonder if these are life skills that, if developed, may at least minimize some effects on physical decline later on.

M1

I think much of temperament is ingrained, and there is probably more of a genetic link than we know-this has clearly been shown in some animal models, for example. But I don't think anyone could tell you that there is a link to dementia. It's hard to witness chronic unhappiness, though.

JDancer

Sounds a bit like blaming the victim.

housefinch

I think it’s hard to say. Agree that much of temperament is likely hard wired, plus who knows if she had unaddressed trauma or other issues that influenced her outlook? Hypervigilance can also sometimes look like that. My only other thought is that depression is a dementia risk factor—- but lifelong depression? Sounds more like temperament.

mommyandme (m&m)

Narcissistic?