Communication problems

Kat63

For the past month or so my DH does not make sense when he tries to communicate. He cannot find the right words for what he wants to say and most words he uses for nouns or pronouns are made up words. He still talks quite a bit, more so late afternoon or early evening but never anything that is reality, as no longer is aware his parents have died, or just talks nonsense to where I have to try hard to respond with I see or I understand, or sorry, I don’t know and hope my response isn’t too far off. He also does not seem to understand what I am saying to him as well. Most of the time I have to show him what I want or say it a few times and gesture for him to somewhat know what I’m saying. Wondering how many of you have experienced this and if this continues until they just don’t talk at all?

CindyBum

My DW has been struggling with "word finding" for nearly 2 years now. She can still get most of her ideas out, but often uses incomprehensible words, the wrong word, or stops after two words and can't remember what she was trying to say. She can still mostly understand what I'm saying, though if it's directions on how to do something, that is frequently a stretch. I expect that she will eventually lose the ability to put together sentences.

Her mother also had dementia and the same difficulty with speech. She did eventually lose the ability to speak, though she still understood what people were saying.

It is/was very difficult to watch to energetic, extroverted, social women lose their abilities to engage in the way they used to. Super frustrating for both of them. I am sorry you on your husband are going through this.

Denise1847

Hi Kat63,

It is a part of the progression. I have attached a handout which will explain how this happens as different parts of the brain are attacked by the disease. My DH is starting to have some of this. He doesn't grasp verbal instructions and he has difficulty finding his words. I am so sorry.

ALZ Stages TamCummings.pdf

annie51

I can relate. My DH has begun doing that too. Many times he's repeating the same question or comment so once I finally understand what he's talking about, I can usually get it quicker the next time because he uses the same couple of key words. It's very difficult though, trying to understand or respond appropriately.

Howaboutnow

Same here,,,especially as the day wears on. Nouns are mostly gone and DH struggles to convey a thought. He will hand gesture as he’s trying to make a point but it just does not come out comprehensible. I do the, “I’m not sure”, or “ok, yes”. Sometimes i ask him to “show me” thinking he will have me follow him to what is on his mind but he typically just points to whatever is closest to him and says, “well, here, this, like that” as he moves his hands.

It’s best to use few words in trying to communicate to your LO. My DH can’t handle several word sentences. The meaning is gone before i finish the sentence. But even the most common words and phrases like “let’s take your shirt off” or just “shirt off” are confusing to my LO. Yes, showing your words with movements and gestures can be helpful as you’ve found.

All “normal” in progression for my DH. I’m sorry.

Yet, sometimes he can come out with a sentence that makes perfect sense in context and even be humorous. Those moments catch me off guard and we can jointly laugh. In those moments, he seems surprised he made a “funny” and I got it. Because majority of the time he must be frustrated that I’m not understanding him.

Hang in there.

Kat63

Thank you to each of you for your comments. It does help to know others are experiencing the same problems. I do try to reply, as I always want my DH to know I’m listening and care, but always nervous it might be the wrong response. “How about now” My DH does the exact same thing, if I ask him to show me, he points to what is in his view at that moment. From the info from Tam Cummings, very sad how much of the brain is damaged at this point.

ButterflyWings

Same here. And yes, it is heartbreaking.

Here is another resource or two.

https://www.elizz.com/caregiver-resources/dementia-care/the-7-as-of-dementia-aphasia/

https://www.crossroadshospice.com/hospice-palliative-care-blog/2023/june/07/beyond-words-compassionate-support-for-aphasia-at-lifes-end/

Lorraine49

My DH is mostly incapable of understandable speech. He simply cannot find the words he needs to express himself. Usually it'll go like this… He'll say something that is total gibberish. I try to catch anything that would give me a clue as to what he wants or needs. I'll ask "is it about food" or "is it something on TV" etc. That's when he gets very angry at me, saying that I'm doing this to him on purpose, and how can I be so mean to him. I tell him I'm sorry that I can't understand him, but it just makes him angrier. Eventually he'll calm down and forget about the conversation. He is very chatty and talks to me non-stop, which is very wearing! He'll also follow me around all day and needs to know what I'm doing every minute. Does anyone else have this type of situation and if so, how are you handling it? He was diagnosed with Lewy Body Dementia.

LaneyG

Lorraine, my husband is often not able to express himself clearly. It’s sad cuz I can tell he needs, or wants something, but most times I can’t get a clue of what it is. Then he gets frustrated, then he gets angry, the he thinks it’s something I’m doing to him on purpose. I breaks my heart. I just guess a few time, then I apologize, and then I try to distract. I have no answers.

CindyBum

My DW has gone from single word finding issues, to parts of sentences, to being unable most of the time to get a clear sentence out. And now, I'm seeing she is starting to understand me less and less. It's right up there at the top of the list of most brutal parts of her/my journey. Breaks my heart and frustrates and depresses her.

Her mom had this too in her later stage dementia. She did eventually stop talking and started sleeping most of her days away. I think the frustration overtook her and she just went to bed.

Ladylawyer46

my DH was diagnosed in 2017 with Alzheimer’s. For the first few years I was certain they had misdiagnosed him because he seemed so “normal “. But as you all know the disease makes itself apparent in heartbreaking ways. Over the last year my DH has pretty much lost the ability to speak. It’s mostly gibberish and hand motions. To compound the communication breakdown he understands maybe! 5% of what I say. I got so tired of repeating and repeating and repeating I started writing on a white board He has not lost the ability to read (yet) and seems to understand most of what I write. I also have 4x6 white board cards (like flash cards). For now it is working but I do see in the not too distant future that it will be less and less effective. It is this inability to communicate that has been the hardest part of the journey. And that is a story for another day. I hope the comments I made are of some help.