How to respond...

annie51

We invited some friends to come over to see our Christmas decorations (my DH wants to invite everyone over!). It was a husband and wife and one of two couples who are our closest friends. A few days after they were here, DH suddenly says that she was being a b** and he doesn't want her to come over anymore. I don't know what made him say this, she is very nice and we had a nice visit. I didn't know how to respond - I hate to agree with him because I don't want him to think I'm mad at her too. But then should I be acknowledging his feelings? I said something like, "I'm sure whatever she said to make you feel that way she didn't mean it that way, she's a good friend". I don't think he agreed with me. He dropped it for a few days then spontaneously brought it up again yesterday. Any advice on how to handle this? I always have these friends over on New Years Eve so I don't want her to walk in and have him react badly.

PookieBlue

I used to tell my DH that I didn’t hear that and then distract him with some other topic. He would bring this up on occasion, but after a month or so it never came up again.

White Crane

Maybe you could simply say I’m sorry you think that or I’m sorry you feel that way. This would acknowledge his feelings without you having to agree with him.

Phoenix1966

Would your friend be willing to offer a general, blanket apology if she comes for New Year’s and you think your husband is still agitated by her? Have her just take the bull by the horns and say something to him like, “I’m so sorry about our last visit and I’m glad I can apologize before the New Year. It won’t happen again.”

Denise1847

I would ask him what did she do to cause him to feel this way. When he can't remember it, then may he will drop it.