Crying (and perhaps losing Anosognosia for a while)

dancsfo

A PWD cried a lot, saying "why am I living this long?", "I'm being such a burden to others", etc. In a few minutes, crying stopped and was content with regular activities and did not seem to remember the event. (I made no further attempt neither to recall the event, nor further console for fear of starting it again)

This seemed to have been triggered when I burned my fingers on an empty pot left on a stove to dry off, and PWD previously forgot to turn off the burner. I didn't look at the stove carefully, and when PWD asked why I had burned myself, I said "you forgot to turn the stove off". I shouldn't have said that, but sometimes it just comes out, since it was what happened. (Note: I usually am very careful watching what she does, but I missed it this time)

While this was very disturbing, I was surprised and found it curious as it shows more self-awareness than usual of being a PWD.

Crying fits are rare, but it has happened before; the previous time, she said "I'm not my usual self anymore"

Does this happen much? I suppose every day can be different with dementia.

GothicGremlin

I'm so sorry @dancsfo It's distressing.

This has happened with my sister a few times. Three times over the course of as many months she's said to me "I can't do this anymore", or "I just can't do this". I very much know what "this" is. It felt like this was the real Peggy talking, not Peggy as a PWD. The self-awareness didn't last, but it was definitely there for that half hour.

Her self-awareness pops up periodically (usually around topics involving music), and usually it's nice to see. But then there are the "I can't do this anymore" statements.

Quilting brings calm

My mom was like this for the first two-three years. Her current anxiety and depression medications finally stopped the crying. I think her slight progression has stopped the ‘I can’t do this, I don’t want to live this way, my brain is flying in different directions’. Either she doesn’t think like that or she doesn’t know how to communicate it that specifically. ( I’ve got a discussion posted about communication) She does tell me almost every day that she’s very confused.

dancsfo

@GothicGremlin and @Quilting brings calm Thanks for sharing your stories. I too am aware of what "this" is, sadly.

While the condition differs for each person, I think that despite all we know, we still harbor hopes that the "real" LO is still inside, and some thing will uncover it, and we sometimes see glimpses of the prior person, which brings some false hopes. I think I'll just enjoy these little episodes when they can be good. Not all of it is sad, or seeing a LO crying.

I saw a TV documentary where a neuroscientist was also a caregiver for her mom with Alzheimer's. So she's both a caregiver and a scientific observer. She has taken MRI's of her mom over the course of the progression, so has a good understanding of what's happening.

Despite having the knowledge and evidence, she consoles her mother saying she looks forward to her mom getting better. In the show, there are brief episodes when the "mom from the past" surfaces briefly, and says things she used to say, as they walk down a familiar road. That was very touching.