Staying Informed When Sister Not Helpful

JlhMT

I moved back to the area where my mom and 2 older sisters live because my now 89 year old mom has Alzheimer's. It is her short term memory that is the problem for the most part along with anosognosi. Even though I was the 1st in the family to notice/speak up about it, since I lived out of state my 2 older sisters have been the main caregivers for the past couple of years after they eventually took mom to doctor/neurologist. Their response when I brought up memory issue was "she just doesn't pay attention". My oldest sister causes problems when she argues with my mom or thinks reminding her of things is helpful. I have wanted to have meeting with my older sisters regarding mom's care but it still hasn't happened though I have been back for over 6 months. I feel like my 2 older sisters are making decisions about without my knowledge or input and are not keeping me informed and so is my only recourse hiring an elder law attorney? That might cause my oldest sister to go over the edge and remove herself entirely from situation/family but not sure that is the worst thing that could happen. Any ideas/thought out there? I tried searching for this topic in discussions but didn't have any luck.

tomsalz65

I too am the youngest and I find myself frustrated with older siblings aswell. Agree you all love mom but communication challenging. No answer but I'm sending you positive energy , express your need to be informed and involved. Your goals are all the same what's best for mom.

M1

Welcome to the forum for both of you. This is when it matters regarding who holds power of attorney. That person holds the ultimate decision making authority, and ideally this should be determined long before issues arise. If it's not settled, a family meeting with a certified elder law attorney can address these and financial issues as well.