Caring for my wife who may be near the end.

Vic Pro

I am having a very tough time dealing with what might be the end for my dear wife of over 36 years. How does one cope. We are both members of a faith community, but it is still too hard. Any ideas>

terei

All I can do is recommend the book Being Mortal. I might help you come to terms with what is going to happen + the inevitability of everyone’s demise.

Denise1847

I am so sorry. My only thoughts are prayer, getting guidance and reading material from hospice.

I was a hospice volunteer when I first retired. I learned alot from the experience. Instead of focusing on what was and the loss, focus on the goal for your spouse to have a peaceful passing to a new life with a new body and mind. Are there things you want to say, music that would comfort him and you?

A good hospice program should be providing you with strong support both emotional and spiritual. If they aren't providing it, then ask for it or get another hospice program.

I wish I could offer more. God bless you.

LJCHR

I wish I had an answer for you - unfortunately there is no easy one. I lost my first husband at the age of 56 and didn't know how I would survive his death. You pick up your feet one at a time and count the hours first, and then the days, and finally the years. Somehow, with our faith, we do make it.

Now my wonderful second husband has Alzheimer's.

So sorry for you. Look for strength and support through your faith community and God. It will sustain you.

Lorita

Hi Vic, so sorry for what you both are going through. Many.of us have been there so I know how hard it is. The only thing I can suggest is to be with her as much as possible, let her know you're near and love her, talk to her and try to relive memories of your life together. May God be with you both.

jfkoc

You are facing a huge loss. I have no ideas or words except to say that you will see this through. The grief and pain you feel now will abate and one day walk by your side ...no longer consuming you.

We are here to lean on...always.

-Judith

Dogsaremylife

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/67329/caring-for-my-wife-who-may-be-near-the-end

If we can keep in touch with the fact that death is the consequence of life, is the natural unfolding of the spirit, it seems to help in a world that makes death seem unnatural. I have been married 38 years and my husband is at stage 6.5, and deteriorating daily. I recently read the following quote that seemed to encompass our situation in certain ways:

"Life will break you. Nobody can protect you from that, and being alone won't either, for solitude will also break you with its yearning. You have to love. You have to feel. It is the reason you are here on earth. You have to risk your heart. You are here to be swallowed up. And when it happens that you are broken, or betrayed, or left, or hurt, or death brushes too near, let yourself sit by an apple tree and listen to the apples falling all around you in heaps, wasting their sweetness. Tell yourself that you tasted as many as you could." ~Louise Erdrich

Book: The Painted Drum