Parents

Keel10

Hello both of my parents have Alzheimers. They are in a memory care facility. I am struggling with this guilt. My dad has had this for at least 10 years. He wanders the streets looking for his deceased father. I had no choice but to lie to him and tell him we were visiting mom. I cannot get over the guilt of doing this it is tearing me up inside. How do I get over this guilt?

Quilting brings calm

Remind yourself that there’s an entire staff of people to care for him. Ones that get to go home and have a good nights rest and go about their life. Remind yourself that he needs to be someone where he can’t wander and end up cold, wet, hurt or taken advantage of. Remind yourself that you are probably still doing quite a bit as you advocate for him

mommyandme (m&m)

Remind yourself that you didn’t do this to him, dementia did. Dementia is such an A hole.

Welcome to this place, a place of support, wisdom and friendship. Keep coming back.

Emily 123

Hello Keel,

Your dad can't understand why he shouldn't do unsafe things, and so you had to make those hard decisions for him. None of this is easy.

You're doing the best thing you can to keep him safe. If you had to tell a white lie with that goal in mind then it's acceptable.

There is a help line here where you can talk to someone, or think about if you'd like to join one of the dementia support groups or talk this through with a therapist or counselor.

https://www.alz.org/help-support/resources/helpline