Going Along With Delusions?

michellenjuan

My 88 yr old Grandma is suffering from very stressful delusions. She believes her neighbor stole her (imaginary) puppies and she wants to confront them. I have been trying to deter and/or distract her for days now, but it’s getting almost impossible. She won’t let it go and it is causing her a lot of grief. I told her it would be dangerous to confront them and we should let the police handle it. (Of course , I would pretend to call them). Unfortunately, she does not find this solution acceptable. I feel so guilty for misleading her but I don’t know what else to do! Her children have tried telling her the puppies aren’t real. This causes her even more distress! Her daughter, (my aunt), thinks we should just get her a puppy, but I really don’t think that’s a good idea. She is in very poor physical condition besides her dementia and a puppy would only add an extra level of stress for her caregiver. What to do? How far do you along with delusions?

terei

I can tell you only what I would do: Oh, my gosh, that’s terrible. I did call them yesterday + discussed this with them + the puppies are with good homes + you warned them the police will be called if there are any more problems. Getting her a puppy would be the worst idea ever IMO. There are many discussions on the boards about the issues pets can cause + the way you describe her condition, she cannot properly care for a pet, let alone a puppy.

Phoenix1966

You don’t mention if your grandmother is on any medication. If she isn’t, there may be something that might calm her anxiety. Also, many people who suffer from dementia get “silent” (they do not complain of any of the typical symptoms) UTIs and this infection can exacerbate their dementia symptoms, too.

Along with @terei ’s excellent suggestions, a trip to her PCP might be in order.

michellenjuan

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/191087#Comment_191087

Thank you for your insights.

M1

I would agree that medication is in order. There are several that can help, Seroquel and risperidone being among the most commonly prescribed and generally well tolerated.

CatsWithHandsAreTrouble

You might be able to get a toy dog that she'd be okay with but she might be too with it and notice the discrepancy between it and her perceived stolen puppies. I think you were doing the right thing about telling her to let the police handle it and that it's dangerous to confront the neighbors. Your older relatives should not be telling her that they're not real, they're real to her and causing her real grief.

Whoever is her medical poa or related position should definitely get her meds checked out and rule out a uti. If she gets the uti tested, ask for a culture as well. Sometimes infections don't show up on the initial test but will on the culture.

Best luck to you and her

ButterflyWings

Great suggestions from all the members. And your instincts are right. Delusions are not responsive to "logic, explanations, and reasoning" because your LO's brain is broken. And adding a real live puppy to the situation will not change that one whit. But it sure complicates things, just no to that one. Not sure that your aunt understands dementia (?)

I think you and the family might find Teepa Snow videos on validation techniques very helpful. I've attached one here (it is on hallucinations though, which are false visions, sounds, smells, etc. which is different from delusions (false beliefs) but her validating and redirecting example still applies . Also attaching an article on handling delusions in dementia. Best of luck!

https://youtu.be/3s0ktYUIn0Y?feature=shared

And just continue to learn all you can about communicating with persons with dementia. Fiblets, validation, redirection etc. are all necessary to keep the peace.

https://www.brightfocus.org/alzheimers/article/alzheimers-disease-top-five-tips-managing-hallucinations-and-delusions

HollyBerry

I remember some of the stories my mom told me when she was in AL. She had dementia but it crept up slowly after a stroke and we didn't realize how much it was affecting her until she started calling in the middle of the night with some really wild stories. She believed 100% that they were true. I would usually follow along, ask a question or two or answer the way she wanted me to, and try to guide the conversation to something else. There was no point in disagreeing unless it affected someone else negatively - at one point she told me that one of the activity people had asked her to host a baby shower for a staff member and buy an expensive gift, and she was really angry at that person for expecting her to do that in her room! I couldn't let that one go, and offered to talk to them to "see if maybe you misunderstood what she was talking about." I came back and told her that they were going to make different plans for the baby shower and it was all set. I think I heard about that baby shower off an on for about 2 years...