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My Journey is over

DH died on Nov. 24th and yesterday I had the Mass for him and the burial. Several of my family members were here flying in from distant states or driving for 8 hrs or more. As I posted after his death, he had been in Memory Care for 15 months. He died a peaceful death and I had just seen him 11 hrs before. Even though he was non verbal, he was able to play some wooden puzzle games and matching card games and we kissed each other goodbye before I left and said " See you tomorrow." He was able to use his walker and just had eaten his pureed Thanksgiving dinner. He had been on Hospice for 11 months but they were shocked he died when he did as they just saw him a day or 2 before.

This is the strangest feeling. He was 93 and 1/2 and had Alzheimer's for 7 and 1/2 yrs. After his brain surgery 5 and 1/2 yrs ago, I took care of him for 4 yrs . Rationally it is a blessing that he passed away but I weep knowing that I will never see him again.

I want to thank all those who supported me and all the wonderful help I have received being here. For those on the fence re: when to place, please consider it. My decision was made for me as he broke his ankle and was incontinent. I am thankful I didn't suffer major health issues but I am sure I would had I continued to take care of him in our apartment. The staff at the Memory Care just loved him and took care of him and I could visit often as he was nearby.


My prayers are with all of you on this journey. I will check in here on occasion but for the most part will not continue to check in often. I hope some of my previous postings have helped other members.

Comments

  • Drapper
    Drapper Member Posts: 79
    Third Anniversary 25 Care Reactions 25 Likes 10 Comments
    Member

    My condolences for your loss. Although you have mixed feelings, you will process your grief in your own way. There is no short cut to healing, but you will get on the other side of it.

    I wish you peace and renewed joy in your journey forward.

  • SusanB-dil
    SusanB-dil Member Posts: 1,204
    1000 Comments Third Anniversary 100 Likes 25 Insightfuls Reactions
    Member

    Elshack - sorry to hear of your loss. Doesn't matter capabilites are still there, nor how long our LO fight 'this', it is still painful.

  • Anonymousjpl123
    Anonymousjpl123 Member Posts: 707
    500 Comments 100 Likes 100 Care Reactions Second Anniversary
    Member

    I'm so sorry for your loss, and so glad he had you to care for and love him. He is very lucky. I know this must be an enormous change, and I hope both of you find some peace.

  • dancsfo
    dancsfo Member Posts: 300
    100 Comments 25 Care Reactions 25 Insightfuls Reactions 25 Likes
    Member

    I'm sorry for you loss and I admire all you did. I hope you both find peace and that you find a way to get the relief you deserve.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more