Bridge Players

Karl38

My wife is 83 and is in stage 3-4 Alzheimer's. She has all the symptoms but because she was an expert bridge player all of her life she can still play the game. She does not remember the bidding rules but can play the hands fairly well. She only plays with me as partner and we often don't get to the right contract but she doesn't realize she is not playing well. I don't say anything and she enjoys the game. Is anyone else having an experience like this?

Cecil Jones

Yes, when my wife was in the early stages like 3 and 4 she could do a lot of things and most people couldn't really see anything wrong with her. It was stage 5 or 6 when things got much worse...everyone sees now. Sorry.

the bff

Karl38, you made me smile. I'm a bridge player, pretty good but no expert by any stretch of the imagination. Most people I play with don't have dementia, and we all can't remember the rules, or play the hand, at one point or another. One wife won't partner with her husband because she just gets frustrated. We often say "who's on first?" (Abbott and Costello) because there's total confusion. Your wife has so much reserve in how to play the hand because she played at such a high level and has it so ingrained, but struggles with the rules because a lot of the bidding rules are "new." She probably can outplay us. So good for your wife, and kudos to you. Keep it up. Win-win.

White Crane

Karl, my husband is late stage five and he can still play a good game of rummy. He doesn’t win all the time, but he wins fairly often. He has trouble counting his score afterwards, but he still plays the cards well. I used to be a bridge player. A friend of mine and I would partner for duplicate bridge several times a month. I knew all the rules and bidding conventions. It’s been so long since since I’ve played I’m not sure I still could. Bravo to your wife!

Walter0617

My wife is stage 6 and in a Memory Care Facility. Before Alzheimer's she was a talented pianist and organist. While she can no longer play at the level she once did, she still plays quite well and often (at the urging of the MC staff....she would never think of it on her own), plays for the other residents at the MC. She has lost so much but this skill was developed over 60 years ago (she is now 69), and is somewhat still intact.

storycrafter

Karl,

My husband has FTD and we still play Bridge with our best friends as a couple, the only couple we get together with about once or twice a month. They're our most important socialization and it keeps us both going, an important part of our mental health.

We're not pros and just play casually, our friends very understanding and tolerant. Together we all make it work. On a good night dh can do okay despite errors. Sometimes he surprises me by how well he can do when he happens to get the contract. I'll sometimes underbid when I know he'll take it instead of me, to give him leeway for more likely success. It's great when I get a good dummy hand for him. But usually it's me who gets the lead and he enjoys dummy. We often get set, but we still have enough wins to keep it fun.

I adjust things depending on how high his anxiety level is at the time. Sometimes we only play a short while, or not at all, and just visit for a bit, having dinner and dessert. We're so fortunate to have these two dear friends who continue to share their time with us and I'm so grateful they're willing and understanding! It continues to be one major enjoyable part of our lives.

I'm glad to hear you and your wife can still enjoy it together. Such an important social outlet and connection with others. It's all the more special because we know how precious and rare it is.