Trying to guess what PWD is looking for.

dancsfo

Does this happen? PWD goes to look for something. Can be during meal, or anytime, and starts opening drawers, 'fridge, cupboard, etc.

I ask "What are you looking for?", but PWD says "don't worry, I'll find it", but often fails and can get increasingly frustrated. So I end up trying to guess, get it and show it (let's say I guess that it's a condiment during a meal) and if I'm lucky, I'm right and it's all done.

But often, I guessed incorrectly, and I don't know.

I can just lay out all things I guess is needed before a meal, and hope that seeing it will help. It's like a game of "20 questions", but it's there's no consistent yes or no, if PWD does not want to answer and perhaps is trying to relieve me the trouble of fetching it.

I suspect that if I am insistent by saying: "Do tell me, I'll find it", it can lead to discomfort.

Any suggestions? I think there is no easy answer.

I thought about a mini "picture" menu ("please point to what you want"), but there's only so many things to put there so it is futile.

M1

Sadly, i would bet that most of the time it may not even be a deliberate search but more just an urge to move and rummage. Im struck that there are several residents like this at our MC and they tend to drive my partner crazy because they don't recognize spatial boundaries. They are also quite difficult for the staff to supervise because they are constantly on the move and into things. I would love to know what part of the brain is responsible for it. I see similar behavior in my partner in that she is constantly rearranging things in her room with absolutely no rhyme or reason. I wish there were an easy answer. I wonder if he would respond better to redirection? Just something simple like "come back and finish your dinner/TV show/whatever"?

Cosmic

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/67482/trying-to-guess-what-pwd-is-looking-for

Yup, happens all the time. I've yet to sit down to dinner with her and not have to get up for some reason or another. we're finished with the furniture moving/re-arranging now it's going around the house and turning on every light she can find. I just go behind and turn them off again. Guessing what they want will come eventually, around dinner it's usually condiments or drinks. Constantly roaming and bending over picking up no-see-ums is another habit. It probably bothers you more than PWD so you just have to learn to let it go, it's difficult but short lived.

SusanB-dil

Hi dancsfo - yes, same here with MIL... 'What are you looking for?" We often get a dirty look and a hand-wave away, or "I'll find it" ok, then. we often just let her look. As long as she doesn't appear to get too frustrated, we just let it go or otherwise try to redirect.

dancsfo

Thank you all for your comments. I guess I had some wishful thinking that there was something PWD was looking for.

I agree with @Cosmic that it's hard to have an uninterrupted dinner.

Once the PWD noticed something like dirty pots and pans when visiting kitchen during the meal, there seems to be, out of habit, a desire to clean up. I have a make an effort to avoid PWD seeing something (since seeing something seems to be the cue).

I think the frustrating thing for caregivers is that it is unpredictable - reactions can range from explosive anger to just a shrug.