Help with other family members

barbie72

I am a paid caregiver for my mil. My husband have moved in with her during to her wandering. Every once and a while her daughter (POA) and her daughter will show up and "try to help". Unfortunately they go about it all wrong they argue with her force her to do things she don't want to do and strip away any dignity she might have left. How do I approach another alternative to them. During the holidays it's worse as her home is still where everyone gathers. They do silly things like trying to make her take a picture they look at the picture then yell at her. "Sit like this", "this time you have to smile". It's like she's their dancing monkey then they all leave and I get to deal with her sorrow of how they treat her or her agitated behavior of having to I deal with them. Please help I feel alone as she is not my blood relative but I love her and hate to see her done this way

Marta

Hi, Barbie. It may be helpful for you and your family to read an essay entitled “Understanding the Dementia Experience.” Someone will come along and provide a direct link to the essay.

SusanB-dil

Hi Barbie - Welcome to 'here' but sorry for the reason.

The link Marta is referring to might be: https://www.alz.org/media/Documents/alzheimers-dementia-understanding-alzheimers-and-dementia_ts.pdf

the resource page for a lot of info is: https://www.alz.org/help-support/resources/publications

And unfortunately, those who are not around much typically don't understand. That type of behavior is not unusual ~sigh~ . It doesn't matter how 'close' they are to the person, they just don't get it. Some folks at least try to help, and others just seem to get in the way or can even make things worse.

LadyTexan

I adapted a very helpful article I found at DailyCaregiving.com and shared it with family members and friends that visited. Some read it, and some didn't.

dailycaring.com-Dos and Donts for Visiting Someone with Dementia.docx

SusanB-dil

@LadyTexan it is so good to hear from you... yes, thank you very much for that.

Probably the ones who really do care are the ones who will read.

There were actually 2 'family' we had to write a no-trespass order on. They were taking advantage financially. Sad.