Hi and Happy Christmas to you all
Well it is almost a month since the passing of my husband. My grief is palpable but I am so happy he is free from this awful disease.
My husband had to have his food puréed and he did enjoy eating a lot, however his dementia got so that he did not even recognize what he was given as food. I realized at that point he was going soon. I told him during our last visit that it was ok to go, I would be ok. He died the next morning.
I have friends and family who have been fantastic but I realize that I have to walk alone. There are gut wrenching moments but also joyous moments too, grief rarely travels in a straight line.
I have been thinking of you all and hoping you were all ok. I hope you all have a better year ahead and all of you who were so supportive to me, I thank you all.
Comments
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Dear Buggs, my heart goes out to you in your grief. While I haven’t experienced the physical loss of my husband yet, I can well understand the up-and-down road you’re traveling. I’m so glad you have family and friends to support you. You were an amazing caregiver and I always appreciated your comments. Please take good care of you now. Sending big hugs.
Brenda
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Thinking of you as you travel a part of this road I have yet to reach. May 2024 be a more peaceful year for you and all of us.
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Hi Buggs,
Happy holidays. I hope 2024 brings you some peace and happiness as you navigate “stage 8”. I am 8 months in and you are spot on about grief not traveling in a straight line. Although DH passed in April, he was “gone” for several years prior. The crushing blow was somewhat alleviated as he progressed, but still, I experience moments of sadness and what I can only describe as heartache. Christmas Eve and Christmas Day were great here; too much food and wine, raucous grandkids, late night board games, all the trappings. But I still come home, alone, and missing what might have been. Wishing you brighter days ahead.
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It's said that time heals. You're very new in this lonely world without your husband, so I hope the holidays will be better next year. Even though my DH passed away eleven months ago, this was also my first Christmas without him. But, as with most caregivers here, it's been a long time since we enjoyed a meaningful relationship, and many Christmases have passed without him having any realization of the holidays. Still, I can burst into tears at very unexpected moments as when I was driving recently, and for the first time this season turned on a Christmas radio station. Most songs I can get through with no emotion at all, but when I heard Bing Crosby sing "I'll be home for Christmas" it was too much for me. Perhaps someday I'll be able to get through that particular piece but now it's way too soon! I hope these first raw days will pass quickly, and you can return to some semblance of normalcy.
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Buggsroo,
My heart goes out to you.
What a graceful exit after you telling him he could go. Take good care of you.
Love and light
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Buggs, big hugs to you...may you find joy again in being alive and living! Cherish this life you have 🤗❤️
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Commonly Used Abbreviations
DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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