Next steps

tlirad2021

Hi

my mom was diagnosed with Vascular Dementia almost two years ago at age 76. I am her only child (age 33) concerned about her recent health decline after being in the hospital in November 2023. Scared about the future. What has helped you on this journey with your loved one? We are putting into place a life line (she fainted which landed her in the hospital in the first place) safety a big concern. Has a walker. Won’t use it as it makes her feel old. Cane. Doesn’t use properly and will carry instead of use it. Discussing PoA. Doesn’t understand why I need to be her power of attorney. Struggling with activities of daily living. Can’t cook for herself. Noticing when she walks she shuffles. She struggles on most days. Need to get Springwell on board to give her more services. I think we are in the mid stages. Her last neuropsych evaluation was 20 months ago.

M1

Welcome to the forum. In all honesty, it sounds like she should not be living alone, period. She probably won't use the lifeline any more than she will use the walker or the cane, unless there's a way to make it extremely automatic.

Most certified elder law attorneys (CELA's) are going to be skilled at knowing how to get people to sign the appropriate documents--she won't be the first to be reluctant. Have you consulted someone? You can look for a CELA by location at nelf.org. Very worth it, they can also help you plan financing for assisted living, memory care, or nursing home care if you cannot afford private pay (most can't).

I'm not familiar with Springwell, it is something specific to your state?

mommyandme (m&m)

I agree with M1, she shouldn’t be alone.

My brother and I were caring for my mom long distance. When the neurologist told us she must have 24/7 supervision going forward, it was a slap upside the head. Because we only had help in 8 hours a day then, split shifts, it was a whirlwind to try to get things set up before having to get on a plane home. The doc told me that cameras could be used for 24/7 supervision while we worked out her care. Soooo, cameras helped in our journey immensely! My brother and I could both monitor mom from different states, and the caregivers for that matter. She still had a couple neighbors we could call on for help, which we did often and when mom went missing in her house. I didn’t have cameras in the bathrooms and that’s where she was. I used the cameras even after moving mom here so I could care for her.