POA

mpang123

I'm trying to get my mom to appoint POA to either my nephew or me. How can I convince her? Does she have to be present with us to see the CELA for approval? It has been difficult to discuss the urgency and necessity for POA. I am disabled and am on Medicaid. Can I still be able to have financial POA without affecting my Medicaid? How can I afford legal fees? I know it needs to be done soon before my mom's dementia gets worse. She's the caretaker of my dad who also has dementia but his is more advanced and can't legally make decisions. Getting POA is challenging and frustrating.

mpang123

I have had discussions about this with some members here. Some said I can file for guardianship and the fees can be paid for after it has been granted? There's just so many questions in how to proceed. How do you guys start this process and overcome the obstacles in getting this if my parents refuse to discuss this?

M1

Mpang i think you will find that a competent CELA will have suggestions and methods for dealing with their reluctance, they will have encountered this before and hopefully can help you persuade them. They will also be able to answer your questions, i doubt that your holding POA will affect your Medicaid but it is the kind of question For which the CELA can give an expert answer. You probably need to have a private consultation without your parents first. Make phone calls-many will offer a free consultation first,and some may also be willing to come to your home for a house call.

mpang123

My mom finally agreed for me to be POA. Yay! She is the primary caretaker for my dad but in case she has further cognitive decline, I can step in and take over her responsibility. My dad sleeps a lot but has a good appetite. He is easy to take care of. He is very quiet and peaceful and is kept comfortable. I take a day at a time and deal with whatever comes my way.

M1

Great news, I m glad for you. They are fortunate to have you looking out for them.

clever_bear

In case anyone else comes across this thread with similar questions, I wanted to post a few thoughts. Disclaimer is that I'm not an attorney.

Often, I think people worry that POA will somehow mean giving up current or future decision-making power. When people are getting older and are already noticing things are harder, notice the cognitive decline, it's understandable they'd be anxious that someone is going to swoop in and take over for them. Remember to validate and empathize with that anxiety and concern, but use logic and facts to support the reality of the situation. And go back and validate their feelings again, since it's just good good communication.

Remember to attend to the person's feelings first. Empathize with their reluctance. Ask questions to find out if they have specific fears. As someone else pointed out, an attorney specializing in elder law is likely able to help mediate some of these conversations particularly if you aren't getting anywhere on your own. Remind the person that they don't have anything to lose by meting with the attorney. Re-iterate that you want them to take time to think it over and to ask questions to fully understand the process.

Some of this advice obviously will vary a little based on how much cognitive decline is present.

I hope some of this is helpful.

clever_bear