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Anyone else taking care of otherwise healthy dementia patient?

Taking care of 85 year old with late stages but body is amazingly healthy, amazes the nurses and doctors each time,,,strong heart, good breathing, strong appetite, and can feed herself most of the time. One should be delighted right? But she is in late stages requires 24 care, is beyond any kind of converstation, but gets a clean bill of health each time..anyone experience this?

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  • ButterflyWings
    ButterflyWings Member Posts: 1,752
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    edited December 2023

    Yes. But the inevitable brain glitches and decline are eventually catching up with us. Some swallowing, choking and aspiration issues have just begun here. Otherwise, his nurse says based on weekly vital signs etc., DH "could live forever". It is putting us on the agonizing path of riding the dementia train all the way to the bitter end, unless something sudden and catastrophic occurs. The long goodbye, indeed.

    Good DNA and all those years of clean living and taking care of himself, leads to this it seems. Not the dementia of course, but the part you are mentioning: healthy body, deteriorating brain slowly shutting down each bodily function in time. I so hate to see him suffer like this, and in fact am suffering with him though not in the same way of course.

    I am sorry for you and your LO too. It is just sad, too sad to fathom. So we wait.

  • DCCEPEK
    DCCEPEK Member Posts: 94
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    Yes perfectly normal just this damn disease. We're 65 and doing our best she's 83 starting to have mobility issues but a strong will woman. Probably out live us. I hate Alzheimers and hate it we're all going through this. Nothing happy about our new year

  • gampiano
    gampiano Member Posts: 329
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    My DH was in good shape, physically active, and our checkups were always "great", until he reached stage 7, and the brain deterioration affected walking, swallowing, balance, and so many other things. The week before he died, the hospice nurse was pretty sure death wasn't imminent. Things can change by the hour at this stage.

  • GothicGremlin
    GothicGremlin Member Posts: 857
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    My sister is in the same boat - late stage, but physically very healthy. If you look at Peggy's lab results, she looks great - plus, she's only 64. She's normal in every way - except her brain. Her brain is far from healthy.

    We had a friend over for dinner the other night, she's a nurse, and has a Ph.D in nursing. Smart lady. She said essentially the same thing as @M1 when I made the "otherwise healthy" comment to her. She was gentle about it, but I think the time has come for me to stop thinking of Peggy as "otherwise healthy."

  • Quilting brings calm
    Quilting brings calm Member Posts: 2,480
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    @Kibbee major neurocognitive disorder is just the newest technical way of saying dementia. Then they can further specify which one- FTD, Alz, Lewy Body, etc.

    To the post: My mom didn’t have too many additional serious conditions besides her dementia a few years ago. Mobility ( she uses a walker). However the last year or so, she’s been diagnosed with mild non specified pulmonary fibrosis possibly caused by an unknown mild autoimmune disorder. It’s unknown because they don’t feel a need to treat it at her age (85). Wet macular degeneration appeared earlier this year. So I definitely see her ‘otherwise good health’ status beginning to change.

  • gampiano
    gampiano Member Posts: 329
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    Kibbee,

    regarding staging, a few questions. In addition to what you described, is DH incontinent? Can he articulate? I think he is further along in the staging than you indicate, based on the experiences with my husband. It took an evaluation by hospice to clarify things for me and they were a very helpful resource.

  • Kibbee
    Kibbee Member Posts: 229
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    QBC - You raise a good point. When DH has his neuropsychology testing done the neuropsychologist made a point of saying it was not dementia. The neurosurgeon we consulted at the same time (ruling out NPH) said DH’s condition was the long term downstream consequence of whole brain radiation he had received as part of his brain cancer treatment many years earlier. But those observations were made 4 years ago and DH’s condition has certainly changed since then. While he doesn’t exhibit certain dementia traits (he has no problems with short term memory, wandering, anxiety, sundowning, and has no behavioral problems) he’s on the mark for everything relating to physical failure, loss of ADLs, incontinence, etc. I guess at the end of the day it doesn’t matter what it’s called. A rose by any other name is still a rose. Or in the case of dementia, a skunk cabbage by any other name is still a skunk cabbage. And it stinks!

  • Kibbee
    Kibbee Member Posts: 229
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    Gampiano , I think you are right. In reality DH is probably in the 6 to 7 range. I have wondered about hospice - when it might be appropriate. But when I look at the criteria it seems like he’s not quite there yet.

    My biggest fear for DH is that he will continue to fail cognitively and neurologically, until he’s simply persisting in a quasi-vegetative state for some horrible amount of time. I’d almost rather he did have a bad heart or some other condition that would bring about the end in a more rapid and merciful way.

  • wizmo
    wizmo Member Posts: 98
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    DW age 59 diagnosed EOAD at 53, currently early stage 6. I would say she is 95% physically fit and 90% cognitively impaired. She can still ride a bicycle though we mainly ride a tandem with me always driving. She is good at hiding her deficits but afternoon sundowning comes out often and it's obvious. Various health care providers have told me she will likely end up with some complication from a fall, aspiration pneumonia, or inability to recover from some other illness. I'm sure her physical health has kept her going longer than most 7 years in. I'm seeking placement in MCF in coming months and with good care she could have many years there, but realistically her brain is accelerating downward and it can't last.

  • housefinch
    housefinch Member Posts: 398
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    @Kibbee I agree with everyone above that I would really consider asking for a hospice evaluation. Anyone having choking symptoms when eating or drinking and who is sleeping most of the time and no longer ambulatory sounds very late stage in life to me. I would hate for you to be suddenly caught off guard by a quick decline here. Anyone with those choking symptoms can probably go downhill very fast anytime. I’m sorry to say that and want you to feel empowered to get the consultation, even if your loved one isn’t accepted yet.

  • Ragfoot
    Ragfoot Member Posts: 19
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    My wife's grandmother frequently said "when the time comes don't plug me in, I don't want to be a burden on anyone." She didn't count on AD. She continued to live for more than a year, laying in bed, not recognizing anyone, not speaking, not walking, being fed, bathed, turned, completely being taken care of. All without wires or tubes, just a lot of care and love. Death would be so much more desirable. Unfortunately, in our society, we have to live with the cards we are dealt.

  • harshedbuzz
    harshedbuzz Member Posts: 4,476
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    @Kibbee

    I agree with the others that a hospice eval would be a good idea. I would also bring in an SLP to investigate the swallowing issue. Today, if possible. If nothing else, the SLP can give you tips around how to feed and hydrate him as safely as possible. If he's a choking risk, he may need thickened fluids, to avoid mixed textures like cereal & milk or chunky soups, to only be fed sitting upright, mechanically processed food, etc. Dad's SLP banned sippy cups, sports bottles and straws as they can deliver liquid to the back of the throat along with pocketed food too quickly. That said, people can and do aspirate on saliva which is impossible to manage effectively IME.

    The thing with "staging" whether you have a firm diagnosis of a specific dementia or not, is that a PWD is considered to be in the latest stage for which they have a symptom. I know it can be hard to wrap one's mind around this concept-- my dad was ambulatory, semi-continent, knew his close family, very verbal and self-feeding which led my mom to feel he maybe /might be stage 6-ish. The nurses and aides who provided his care the last 2 months when he was in the MCF agreed with her.

    I was focused on the drastic weight loss and the occasional sputtering and felt he was probably further along. It was a conversation I had with the DON about weight loss. Dad had lost about 50lb in his last 6 months which is ominous. They did weight residents monthly, but the facility only had the weight from his pre-admission physical with his then-PCP and was unaware of the 35lbs he'd lost in the last 4 months before that. His GI track had become dysfunctional and food was kind of passing through him according to the gerontologist at the MCF. Part of this was that his epiglottis was sluggish and didn't react quickly enough to protect his airway. The DON ordered a next day appointment with an SLP and a hospice eval the next day. He did die in the time between his two appointments. An X-ray taken just after he saw the SLP came back the next day to confirm pneumonia. As sad as that was and as unprepared as my poor mom was, he had a peaceful end. He was chatty with me and flirty with the SLP not 6 hours before he was found unresponsive during a routine bed check.

    HB

  • Kibbee
    Kibbee Member Posts: 229
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    Good advice all around…thank you!

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
Read more