So glad to have found something to laugh about!!!

PookieBlue

While on a road trip, an elderly couple stopped at a roadside restaurant for lunch. After finishing their meal, they left the restaurant and resumed their trip. When leaving, the elderly woman unknowingly left her glasses on the table, and she didn’t miss them until they had been driving for about forty minutes. By then, to add to the aggravation, they had to travel quite a distance before they could find a place to turn around, All the way back, the elderly husband became the classic grouchy old man. He fussed and complained, and scolded his wife relentlessly during the entire return drive. The more he chided her, the more agitated he became. He just wouldn’t let up one minute. To her relief, they finally arrived at the restaurant. As the woman got out of the car and hurried inside to retrieve her glasses, the old geezer yelled to her, ‘While you’re in there, you might as well get my hat and the credit card.’

Happy New Year! Happy Trails.....

charley0419

Haha.

Joydean

Thank you for the much needed laugh!!! Hope everyone has a blessed New Year!!

michiganpat

That's a good one!

Muffiegirl

Good laugh

harshedbuzz

Good one.

The last time dad drove my parents north from their winter digs in FL to their summer place in MD, they stopped for gas and lunch just before they entered NC. Mom fell asleep for a time and woke up to find herself in GA again. This from a woman who swore he was fine to drive.

HB

Bluebird

Thanks for the laugh.

White Crane

Thanks for the laugh. I needed that.

PookieBlue

Two old guys are pushing their carts around WalMart when they collide. The first old guy says to the second guy, “Sorry about that. I’m looking for my wife, and I guess I wasn’t paying attention to where I was going.” The second old guy says, “That’s OK, I’m looking for my wife, too. I can’t find her and I’m getting a little desperate.” The first says, “Well, maybe we can help each other. What does your wife look like?” The second old guy says, “Well, she is 27 yrs old, tall, with red hair, blue eyes, long legs, big busted, and is wearing short shorts. What does your wife look like?” The first old guy says, “Who cares — let’s look for yours.”

PookieBlue

Jack decided to go skiing with his buddy, Bob. So, they loaded up Jack's minivan and headed north. After driving for a few hours, they got caught in a terrible blizzard. So they pulled into a nearby farm and asked the attractive lady who answered the door if they could spend the night. "I realize it's terrible weather out there and I have this huge house all to myself, but I'm recently widowed," she explained. "I'm afraid the neighbors will talk if I let you stay in my house." "Don't worry," Jack said. "We'll be happy to sleep in the barn. And if the weather breaks, we'll be gone at first light." The lady agreed, and the two men found their way to the barn and settled in for the night. Come morning, the weather had cleared, and they got on their way. They enjoyed a great weekend of skiing. About nine months later, Jack got an unexpected letter from an attorney. It took him a few minutes to figure it out, but he finally determined that it was from the attorney of that attractive widow he had met on the ski weekend with Bob. He dropped in on his friend Bob and asked, "Bob, do you remember that good-looking widow from the farm we stayed at on our ski holiday up north about nine months ago?" "Yes, I do." Said Bob. "Did you, er, happen to get up in the middle of the night, go up to the house and pay her a visit?" "Well, um, yes" Bob said, a little embarrassed about being found out. "I have to admit that I did." "And did you happen to give her my name instead of telling her your name?" Bob's face turned beet red and he said, "Yeah, look, I'm sorry, buddy. I'm afraid I did. Why do you ask?" "Well, because she just died and left me everything."

(And you thought the ending would be different, didn't you?)

SSHarkey

These are all great! Nothing like some humor to lighten up the spirits! Thanks everyone!

PookieBlue

An 85-year-old couple, having been married almost 60 years, had died in a car crash. They had been in good health the last ten years, mainly due to her interest in health food and exercise. When they reached the pearly gates, St. Peter took them to their mansion, which was decked out with a beautiful kitchen, a master bath suite, and Jacuzzi. As they oohed and aahed, the old man asked Peter how much all this was going to cost. “It’s free,” Peter replied, “this is Heaven.” Next, they went out back to survey the championship golf course that the home backed up to. They would have golfing privileges every day and each week the course changed to a new one representing the great golf courses on earth. The old man asked, “What are the green fees?” Peter’s replied, “This is heaven, you play for free.” Next, they went to the clubhouse and saw the lavish buffet lunch with the cuisines of the world laid out. “How much to eat?” asked the old man. “Don’t you understand yet? This is heaven, it is free!” Peter replied with some exasperation. “Well, where are the low fat and low cholesterol tables?” the old man asked timidly. Peter lectured, “That’s the best part…you can eat as much as you like of whatever you like and you always stay healthy, this is Heaven.” With that the old man went into a fit of anger, throwing down his hat and stomping on it, and shrieking wildly. Peter and the man’s wife both tried to calm him down, asking him what was wrong. The old man looked at his wife and said, “This is all your fault. If it weren’t for your blasted bran muffins, I could have been here ten years ago!”

Happy Friday! Have what ever you want for dinner...

Iris L.

😄😄😄

PookieBlue

An atheist was taking a walk through the woods. "What majestic trees! What powerful rivers! What beautiful animals", he said to himself. As he continued walking alongside the river he heard a rustling in the bushes. Turning to look, he saw a 7 foot Bear charging towards him. He ran as fast as he could up the path. Looking over his shoulder he saw that the bear was closing in on him. His heart was pumping frantically and he tried to run even faster. He tripped and fell on the ground. He rolled over to pick himself up but saw the bear raising his paw to take a swipe at him. At that instant the atheist cried out, "Oh my God!" Time stopped. The bear froze. The forest was silent. It was then that a bright light shone upon the man and a voice from heaven asked, "You deny my existence for all of these years, teach others I don't exist and even credit creation to a cosmic accident. Do you expect me to help you out of this predicament? Am I to count you as a believer?" The atheist looked directly into the light. "It would be hypocritical of me to suddenly ask you to treat me as a Christian now, but perhaps, could you make the BEAR a Christian?" "Very well", said the Voice. The light went out, and the sounds of the forest resumed. And then the bear lowered his paw, bowed his head and spoke: "Lord, bless this food which I am about to receive and for which I am truly thankful, Amen."

Happy Friday, Amen....

ghphotog

Lol!!