Stubborn

ANNdrd

Hi. I only posted 1x previously and your help was great. Perhaps someone can help with this. My LO has VD and is in mid stage. He has always been stubborn but now much worse.

Recent Dr appointment Dec28. Dr said no more driving. (He had a collision in the garage and damaged back wall and his truck) . He still insists on driving, says he's fine. I'm worried about legal issues should he cause a crash. Will call our insurance agent. If anyone brings the subject up he gets very angry! He has extra sets of keys and no one knows where he hides them.

Dr also put him on Zoloft but he had one bout of diarrhea and threw the pills our!

Any suggestions?

TIA

SusanB-dil

Hi Ann - We disabled the car for MIL and told her the part was on backorder. If you must, remove a wire and hide it well. Yes, the legal issues are dire. What if he hits a child walking a dog, or another innocent car and injures someone or himself? And insurance will NOT have to pay, since he is not supposed to be on the road! Hence, if there was a lawsuit, he could lose everything.

Do tell his doc about the agitation. If it is only about the driving, not sure how much more you could do, but if it is a regular occurrence, perhaps something else could be prescribed.

JDancer

You might check a current discussion on the spouse/partner board titled, "husband's first car accident in his life."

harshedbuzz

You have my sympathies. My mom's neighbor's husband recently did a home remodel with his Toyota. The garage is now "open-concept". Ugh. The township building inspector had to inspect mom's property because they share a common wall between their garages and upstairs guest room.

Some options:

You could have the truck towed to the dealer and have it re-keyed which would prevent him being able to use his hidden keys. If you don't use the truck, I would take this opportunity to "disappear it" by selling it. You could tell him it's in the shop awaiting a part for repair. If you don't have a POA and it's in his name, moving it to a place where he doesn't see it might help. We kept dad's car parked on the other side of the apartment complex for a time.

Zoloft is a pretty mild SSRI for anxiety; if his behaviors trend into paranoia, aggression, etc. an atypical antipsychotic like Seroquel or Risperdal might be a better choice. If you want to trial the Zoloft the pill form can be crushed and hidden in food. One downside is that it can be 4-6 weeks before you see any benefit from it. The antipsychotics kick more quickly but generally can't be crushed. Dad's geri psych OKed crushing immediate release Seroquel; Seroquel XR should never be crushed. Risperdal is available in a suspension that can be added to juice.

HB

Quilting brings calm

Is your state one where you can report your concerns to the DMV? If so, do so. If not, call the doctor and request their office report him to the DMV. That will result in his being required to re-test at the DMV.

Mimi50

My husband was diagnosed year ago. He has doctors appointment next week. In Illinois if you, are diagnosed with dementia. You need medical release signed and filled out by doctor. In order to drive. He won't be able to drive. So try that I know someone else said let the DMV in your state know. About his diagnosis and recent accident they will suspend his license. Call your insurance company and cancel the insurance. What I am going to do once the doctor tells him. No driving is park the car at my son's. Give Joshua my set of keys to the car and Richie's set. So he won't be able to drive anywhere. Once I can drive during the day at least. I will have to figure out something else but that won't be until late spring or early summer.