3 years ago to present day

ghphotog

So much has changed and so much remains the same.

I remember 3, possibly even 2 years ago (all the years just blur into one) I could leave my DW at home for a few hours while I worked, played golf, did photo jobs, went to the store, etc.

She had lost the ability to use a phone by then but I could still talk to her and check on her via Alexa Drop-in and video camera in the living room. The times I could leave became shorter and shorter and now, present day, I can't even walk into another room or use the bathroom without her calling my name and searching all over for me If she can't find me she begins sobbing in fear and panic. I can no longer leave her alone at all.

Seems like last month I could leave her in the truck with our Golden Collie while I went into the store to pick up a few groceries I had about 20 minutes before she became scared, not knowing where she was and would get out of the truck sobbing calling my name. That time also has been shrinking to maybe 5 minutes. I was practically running through the store to pick up just a few things, prescriptions, etc. . . No more.

My only solution now is to take her in with me and boy is that ever slow or wait until she is in daycare. She is dbl incontinent now but still goes into hysterics when she sees the Depends. She thinks they're for babies and I have to convincer everytime that they are for "WOMEN" and "Men", can't be left alone for even a few seconds now.

Ed1937

I'm sorry it's so darn hard. My wife was very close to what you said, so I understand how stressful that can be. This game is no picnic in the park.

CindyBum

Oof. I'm so sorry. I can feel this stage coming for me/us and I'm a little terrified of it.

Hang in there, as best you can.

trottingalong

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/194040#Comment_194040

That’s how I feel, a little terrified of what’s to come,

darcytg

Heartfelt kindness to you and your DW.

Terrifying for everyone in differing , yet the same, ways.

You're alone, but not alone. Sheesh, just...hugs.

Pathfinder52

I remember noting this in my blog, two years ago. . .

Contingency Plans: here is how I would describe the challenges in both my life and my contingency planning as time has progressed and my husband’s needs have changed:

·        10 years ago, my life was like an 8-lane freeway; lots of options, exits, and places to go.

·        8 years ago, my life was like a 4-lane highway; still many choices, easy access roads.

·        6 years ago, my life was like a 2-lane roadway; well-traveled but fewer intersections.

·        4 years ago, my life was like a 1-way, single lane road; best know where you’re headed!

·        2 years ago, my life became more like being parked in my driveway (especially since COVID) – you’ll need to back up if you intend to go anywhere!

As life became narrower, new back-up plans have to be very creative! 

One thing that saves me is Adult Day Care -- 3 days a week (they can manage incontinence!) and they help hubby shower & shave each week (God bless them!) -- this affords me 5 hours of "me time" on each of those days for running my business!

Wishing you well as you re-write your contingency plans for a spouse who can no longer be alone!

--p

wose

I’m so sorry, your situation now must be maddening. Probably coming up for me as DH has always been under foot. Funny tho, i am the one who is afraid to leave him alone now. How’s the dog with this. I often wonder if a pet would be good.

LJCHR

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/194044#Comment_194044

I’m terrified of what’s to come. Boy it’s hard to focus on the good when you’re worried about the bad.