Never mind
Comments
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I am sorry your DH is going through this especially at such a young age. I am sorry for you, too, of course. My DH is 80 and he has not known the date for years. I think he's stage 6.
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Hi Belle,
In March 2022 I took my mom to the Neurologist for the first time because she was forgetting her words and a few appointments. She was given the MMSE with me in the room and I was shocked at some of the things she could no longer do, like write a sentence. The doctor ask her to write any sentence at all and her response was that she didn’t know what a sentence looked like. This coming from a para legal and an excellent reader, writer and speller. She left that appointment with a score of 22/30 and a diagnosis of mild to moderate dementia, probably mixed Alz and Vascular.
Fast forward to last week when she was given the same test again and could not even remember her last name or what a wristwatch was. Her score was 8/30 this time. I believe her dementia has progressed so quickly in the past 20 months due to a fall in the summer of 2022 resulting in a fractured pelvis. I see decline every single month. It’s so sad and stressful on her and on me. The heartbreak and gut punches are real. I’m sorry your DH is going through this at such a young age, my heart breaks for you and all the others dealing with early onset. I’m thankful we didn’t have to face this horrible disease until mom was 87. Hugs!
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He was actually pretty close with the date. I'm wondering if you're not over reacting to the situation? The fact that he knew it was Wednesday, January and 2024 is something that I would count as a win. We need to look at the positive side of things. I hope I'm not coming across as critical to you. That's the last thing I want to do. But focusing on the negatives will drag us down, and nobody here needs that.
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Belle, I'm sorry you took it that way, and I apologize.
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I hope I do not make this worse "Sorry but there is no bright side to my husband not understanding the day of the week." You are total right! As care giver we need to once a day, look up at the blue sky and smile, anything to get through the day. My wife just walked into the room asking about getting ready for camping next week, we do not go for 5 months, so now I wished she was only off a day or two. When she was at that stage, I was not happy either.
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@Belle I am sorry for what you are losing. It isn’t fair and nearly impossible to accept. But here we are. And I’m sorry @Ed1937 ’s phrasing upset you. Please believe me when I say I am very certain he was sincerely trying to find a way to help you see things in a less depressing manner.
As long as there remains no cure, trying desperately to see something positive in the losses is all we can do. Some days it’s far easier said than done. We are all losing(or have lost) our loved ones by degrees, some slowly and others in leaps and bounds. We are all in various stages of grief for what we will never get back. And some days, it seems like there are nothing but losses.
Like @Ed1937 and @/STEVE expressed, I hope you can find some joy in where you are every day with your DH to help sustain you through the journey ahead.
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Your right I’d be thrilled if my wife would stay as is , so he’s not cooking gets confused and repeats but that’s it! I can deal with this forever but I know it’s not going to be so , but can hope. This illness SUCKS!
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Commonly Used Abbreviations
DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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