Has anyone come up with why they HATE to bath ???

charley0419

Why is showing or bathing such an issue with this illness. I’m not there yet but not looking forward to that scenario.

DCCEPEK

Sensory issues, water coming down. We got a spray shower head and bath chair this helped out alot when we were doing water bathing. Now it's lotion baths with oh so soft muslim cloths. Good luck

Jeanne C.

Definitely sensory issues. I also think it's too many steps to easily remember and navigate. I typically stay in the room when my husband showers to remind him of each step and make sure he doesn't adjust the temperature.

harshedbuzz

There are so many changes associated with dementia that could drive this not-quite-universal reaction.

It could be sensory. Many people with dementia do seem to develop what looks like sensory defensiveness. This could relate to having their skin exposed to air, water pressure, or rough towels. This tendency might be seen around textures if the PWD who will only wear soft sweats. Sensory issues are seen around foods with a preference for sweets and soft/crunchy textures.

Temperature regulation. As the brain deteriorates, the area associated with body temperature can be damaged. Dad was always cold; the last time I visited him in MD he woke up, said it was too cold and set the heat to 85F. It was July. This symptom can be seen with any dementia but it is such a hallmark of one of Dad's dementias, that when I mentioned it to the resident who saw him in the ER he included it as a tentative diagnosis and started treatment in the ER before he had a bed upstairs.

The combination of anosognosia and memory loss. If it was a person's custom to start their day with a shower first thing before starting their day or in the evening before bed, they may assume they'd has one as is their usual routine. Telling them otherwise will just feel like gaslighting. Some folks have success leveraging the previous schedule by sticking to it or by coming up with a novel reason why an additional bath/shower is needed such as working hard in the yard or having a special at-home spa day. @Ed1937 's daughter used to help her mom bathe by setting up an in-home spa with candles, soft lights, a space heater, soft music and nice smelling products to great success. My mom learned that dad would submit to a shower if he spilled something cold on himself like the time he tried to pass a large glass of Chardonnay over his head while lying down. Poor man, once mom figured this out, he spilled something on himself pretty regularly.

Another loss can be empathy. Sometimes caregivers will try to cajole their LO's into a shower asking the PWD to "do it for me" or "you smell bad". People without empathy don't care.

Bathing, like toileting, is a very intimate activity. If the PWD is unsure of who this person is insisting they shower and trying to get their clothing off them, you can see where it would be terrifying. It would have to be confusing-- especially since they don't appreciate the need to shower.

The bathroom itself can factor into this. Mirrors can be a huge trigger for PWD who don't recognize the reflection as themselves. In the context of being stripped down to one's birthday suit by someone whose intentions aren't clear to you while "those people in the mirror" are watching has got to be a nightmare. At dad's MCF, the aides typically started showers with the resident sitting on a shower chair wearing their undies. The aide would wash hair, face first than move on to arms, legs and then remove the top and wash. Once that was done, the resident's shoulders were draped in a towel and the bottoms came off. Once that was rinsed off, they got a towel over their lap and were patted dry before being wrapped in their robe. The first couple of times dad was showered at the MCF, they asked mom to help which kept him receptive as she distracted him. It was ironic because he wasn't at all cooperative when she tried at home. My friend's mom stayed with her for a time while the new place was under construction. Her hall bath had a dark slate shower floor which mom's visual processing read as a hole. Mom screamed bloody murder when her DD tried to get her to stop in. They had better success in the ensuite bath that was all white-on-white.

I think sometimes the bathtime battle can be the result of a PWD trying to assert their autonomy by controlling one of the few things left somewhat in their control. My aunt and my friend's mom didn't do this, but dad's you-are-not-the-boss-of-me personality was intact well into late stage 6. He couldn't drive and he couldn't live where he wanted, but he was in charge of whether he was having a bath or not.

HB

brs

I'm currently experiencing this with my DH. Prior to the illness he was very focused on hygiene and personal appearance, not fad dressing, but "together". Sometimes his appearance is embarrassing and I feel for him because prior he would be shocked by his current self. So far, most of my attempts to " help" lead to an unpleasant verbal exchange.

M1

I have had success with showering and changing clothes once a week--I am the only person my partner will let help her. I bring a "picnic" lunch to MC, usually fried chicken, her favorite. I trim her hair, and this is a good excuse for needing to get in the shower to wash up after the spa routine. We warm up the room, let the steam accumulate, and I stay with her every step of the way. She can still soap up herself and handle the shampoo, though she is reluctant to get her hair wet. She responds positively to my telling her that the soap and shampoo smell "delicious." I put lotion on her legs before putting on clean clothes, and she likes that. I put her deodorant and her toothbrush out for her at the vanity, but last week she tried to put deodorant on her toothbrush, so that is the next thing to watch.

I change her sheets every two weeks. This is the routine that works for now, may have to change in the summer. She's fortunate in that she has never had heavy BO. I'm thinking of trying to get her to change at least underwear midweek. She usually spills food, so that may be a reason to convince her to change.

JeriLynn66

My 98 year old father in law does not shower due to fear of falling. He doesn't remember to "wash up" or change his clothes unless I am physically present at the facility. It's a challenge

mrl

My DH was ok from the neck down (that was after he finally got in..another story) but the minute I raised the shower head to his head/face area was awful. Most def fear in his case.

Michele

jfkoc

Here is a list of musts;

bathroom warm

water temp the right temp

chair in shower...preferably one with arms

Hand held shower

warm, fluffly robe at the ready

a wonderful treat waiting

Ed1937

HB had a good reply, and covered most everything. "@Ed1937 's daughter used to help her mom bathe by setting up an in-home spa with candles, soft lights, a space heater, soft music and nice smelling products to great success." Add to that, new towels and a new pretty shower curtain. It really looked good, and it was relaxing. BUT -- it didn't last long. Maybe a week or so, then it didn't matter anymore. That was a lot of preparing for a short lived win. Sometimes there are just no easy solutions.

Ragfoot

My DW is now night time incontinent and she does not seem to have anosognosia. My morning routine for the last several months is to watch for when she wakes up. Then, immediately help her walk to the bathroom and set her on the toilet. That allows me to remove her Depends and hustle them off to be disposed of. She doesn't seem to notice how heavy the Depends are, but does notice it they also contain poop (which causes her some distress). Anyway, I've made it a habit to use the after toilet time to use the shower for "clean up". I shower with her and she hasn't had a problem with that. Again, a lot of brown showing up on the shower floor disgusts her, but I get it down the drain ASAP. After getting her clean, I'll mostly dry her before she gets out of the shower. Then, the plan has been to suggest she use deodorant while I shower myself. Then, suggest she brush her teeth while I shampoo. 

That plan only partially works now. It still works up to her stepping out of the shower. BUT, most of the time now she doesn't know the toothbrush from the deodorant from the box of Band-Aids. I point, I talk slower and louder. Like M1's DW, once she finds some of the items, what happens next will always be different. Fill the toothbrush cap with toothpaste. Try to put the deodorant cap on the toothbrush. My trying to give her simple instruction from the shower doesn't always work anymore, so I have to abandon my shower to step out and help her.

Still, I've been "lucky" my DW is normally compliant and mostly pleasant. I'll still try to continue that shower practice as long as she is ambulatory.

Fred 

Dunno

"Still, I've been "lucky" my DW is normally compliant and mostly pleasant. I'll still try to continue that shower practice as long as she is ambulatory."

Ditto :)

clkspace

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/194336#Comment_194336

I don’t know what a lotion bath is. Pleases explain. I have been using Stryker Sage essential bath cleaning washcloths for my DW. I warm then package in the microwave a few seconds.

SDianeL

Read the book "The 36 Hour Day" it helped me so much. The reasons they don't want to bathe: 1. They don't remember the last time they bathed. 2. There are too many steps to showering or bathing. 3. They might be afraid of falling. Once I learned these reasons I told my DH that Wed & Sun were our "shower days" and then I would go get his shower ready with body wash, wash cloth, towel, deodorant, shower seat, even turned on the water the first couple of times to get it warm. I then told him his shower was ready when he was ready to take it. It worked. Some days if he didn't feel like it, I just said OK we'll take it tomorrow and he always did.

JeriLynn66

@SDianeL so good to see you again. Hope you’re doing okay

SDianeL

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/194850#Comment_194850

Going through chemo for 18 weeks. Can't go see my husband Lonny. When we talk he cries & I cry. So heartbreaking.