Family in Denial

J0k1ng

My 70yo mom has been dealing with "undiagnosed" demential or ALZ for what seems like 10 years now. In the last couple of years it has become very difficult, but my father and sister do not want to take the next steps; accepting it and being pro-active. She has cancelled multiple brain scans, she hasn't been able to put thoughts together for a long time, doesn't participate in conversations because she has trouble putting it all together, loses everything, very emotional, forgets to eat and sleeps really odd hours (when she sleeps). I guess I'm just glad for this forum. It nearly brought me to tears to read some of the other stories. I'm the oldest child and in healthcare. I feel the like the only one who wants to do more.

DCCEPEK

Hang in there and continue to read you will find relief here on this site and many wonderful people. Newbie too. Go to groups on the forum.

darcytg

Glad you are here.

This is a place of support, information and people who get it.

It is frustrating when people just want to go on as is, perhaps it is their version of being kind. For me, it took less than two days being with my LO for me to realize there were serious safety concerns.

Other than getting educated and loving as best you can there seems little we can do.

Take good care. Again, glad you're here.

terei

Many times, the family members who live with the LO with dementia have normalized the situation they are in, however bizarre + stressful it has become. The people on the outside can see clearly how the PWD needs more help than family members can provide, but those closest to the ‘action’ cannot distance themselves enough to see the solutions clearly.

There are no easy answers. The family members have to come to the point where they accept other solutions.

H1235

the big question is she safe in her current setting. A diagnosis is just a diagnosis. If she she is not in any harm, maybe it’s best to just wait for the rest of the family to wake up. Hard to do! I find I’m much more concerned with moms safety while my brother dwells on her dignity, privacy, rights and independence. Everyone approaches things differently. Not easy at all.