Man of few words, but when he speaks its a doozy

ButterflyWings · January 15

So, my beloved is mainly non-verbal these days. Aphasia sneaked up on us in the last year or 2 I guess, until the noticeable decline/progression was suddenly a deafening silence.

Not that long ago it seems I was saying (to myself), "aarghh would you please STOP talking just for a minute?!" How I miss those days sometimes now. I always loved his voice and what I wouldn't give to hear it more often now that he rarely speaks, and the 2-3 word strings make little sense when he does. You all know.

Well, after a long night of frequent caregiving activity and most of today right at his elbow doing this that or the other, I just finished a leisurely hour hand-feeding a fairly silent DH when out of nowhere he says:

"I was intending to ask you something'...

In delighted surprise (and curious anticipation) I said, "Yeah?: (with our caregiver perking up to listen too)

DH's response: "...Who are you?"

HAHAHA - we all got a good laugh out of that one! I'm laughing and crying here in early Stage 7. I told him "Mrs...his name...,your wife!"). And we chuckled some more. Well friends, this new year is going to be a doozy.

SSHarkey · January 15

What a lovely story! And a wonderful surprise!

ButterflyWings · January 15

SSHarkey - I couldn't help but laugh, which made him laugh, and our aide thought the whole thing was hilarious. The first time he obviously did not know who I was, it broke my heart in little pieces. That was only a few years ago, and my how time flies and how much we have changed since then.

The initial gut punch feeling eventually stopped hurting so much, and in the following early years we had enough UTI experiences (think Jekyll and Hyde drama making me wish he would just get back to his pleasantly confused baseline) -- that I got over it. That's acceptance, or growth, or just going with the flow as we do.

It is a blessing that I can now get a good laugh out of his casually letting me know he didn't know who in the heck I was at the moment despite all the close personal care of the last several hours (if he even remembers that far back). Its an even bigger blessing that he also can laugh at it since some PWD LOs get frustrated or agitated to be told someone is a spouse they don't remember at all.

For a very long time I've just been glad he has pretty much (almost) always liked whoever he thought I was, even though these days he couldn't come up with a name (ever) or relationship (hit or miss) if his life depended on it.

Crazy disease. The entire conversation is remarkable given where he currently is, in Stage 7. So, I'll take it.

Joe C. · January 15

Treasure the moment! I certainly know how precious these moments can be.

M1 · January 16

Glad you got a laugh and a full sentence BW. A flash of the neurons connecting.

Elshack · January 16

Treasure those moments. My DH when he was in stage 7 said very few words. After he got his hair cut, I said to him, "You look so cute! " To which he replied, " I can't help it! " Another time when he wasn't sure who I was, I pointed to my wedding ring and then to his and he gave a thumbs up.

Beachfan · January 16

Late in the disease, my DH, when asked, could give his full name with middle initial. My daughter-in-law pointed at me, asked him what my name was and he said, “Elf”. What???

JDancer · January 16

Were you sitting on a shelf at the time?

Joydean · January 17

I bet it felt so good to be able to laugh and even better to hear him laughing!! What a beautiful time to store away!! Thank you for sharing!

toolbeltexpert · January 17

Bw hold that in your heart. Precious memories.

Nowhere · February 11

Butterfly Wings,

I enjoy your sense of humor, and am so happy to know you still are in possession of it here in Stage 7. My husband speaks less, as he cannot seem to (self admittedly) “think”. The other day, I experienced déjà vu moment while we were out walking and told him so and the term and asked if he spoke French. He answered without hesitation - Parlez-vous français. 🤯

jnjo · February 12

My DH reached a stage where everything was difficult and tiring. Once when I had gotten him all cleaned up, I was trying to get him dressed in clean clothes. He declined and I said "well, you can't go around naked" and he replied "why not, Jesus did." I thought that was so funny, but when I told a friend, she thought it was terrible. I think the people here will understand.