aspiration

jayjayy1992

HI, everyone

i've been a caretaker for my grandma for the last stage of her disease for the past 3.5 years. Everytime i think she was about to give up she has successfully recovered. But we are now in a phase where I honestly can't tell whats going to happen. She has begun aspirating out of the blue. She is on a PEG tube and we have reduced her feeding to around 600 calories a day, but today it seems she can no longer handle the food we are giving her. Anyone expeirence a loved one with this problem? how do you go without giving them nutrition

ButterflyWings

Hi J - It is very hard to let our loved ones go. I have seen a book recommended here, "Being Mortal" - for those of us who are at this stage with our LOs who need us to understand and accept end of life progression, although we love them dearly and it is so tough.

I am watching my DH's body give us clear signals that it is slowing down significantly, preparing to shut down. I hope you and your family, as well as me and mine -- can support their comfort by not feeling guilt when there is no need. Forcing nutrition when the body can no longer process it, can be uncomfortable for them in the last months/weeks/days, I am told.

Thinking of you and sending you strength for what lies ahead for all of us at some point.

harshedbuzz

Another vote for Being Mortal.

In the context of dementia, feeding tubes do not prolong life expectancy or seem to improve quality of life.

The body/Mother Nature is wise. As a PWD approaches active dying, providing nutrition is more of a negative thing than positive as it can be uncomfortable or even dangerous. An end stage PWD can aspirate on their own saliva or on food that is regurgitated because the digestion is not happening effectively as your LO approaches end of life.

If you have not engaged hospice, please call for an evaluation in the morning. You don't need a doctor's referral for this. Dementia is terminal. Your dear grandma is not going to "recover".

HB

M1

If it helps you thjnk about it, those who are dying do not experience hunger or thirst like you would if you were deprived of food or fluids. You can make sure she is not alone and not in pain as she passes.

terei

Agree with all above. Death is a natural part of life + extending life beyond the point that is reasonable is not helping your grandmother or the family, IMO.

jayjayy1992

Hi all,

she is on hospice, but they don't really say much besides if she can tolerate the food then you can give it to her, if it is not going down then don't feed. But as of right now her food does go down. They have not told us she is on the end of life path specifically yet but I see some signs somedays and other days I don't. Not sure but its really hard to tell. I personally think she is starting to suffer but then its like a bulb lights in her head and shes like no ur fine, wake up! Mind you she has been on a PEG tube for 1.5 years and they didn't even give her tops 3 months when she had it put in. She has also been on hospice for about 1 year now as well. But what I was told is that with or without food she is still going to aspirate