How do you remain calm when your mom asks the same question over and over?

rpunte0109

My mom constantly asks the same question over and over. I try to remain calm when answering her or as calm as I can but it’s not easy. How do you remain calm?

H1235

Remember it could be a lot worse. I understand repeating answers to questions is frustrating we went through it we my mother in law. But that seems pretty minor when compared with extreme anger, insults, hallucinations. So not to make light of you situation, but be grateful and in joy those conversations she is not well and you don’t know how many more you will have with her.

SusanB-dil

Hi rpunte - welcome to 'here', but sorry for the reason.

The repeat questions are frustrating. One poster had an idea that they almost made a game of it to see how many different ways they could answer the same question. You can also try to distract your LO to something else when they get fixated on asking about the same thing.

rpunte0109

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/195114#Comment_195114

Hi oh know we have all that. The hallucinations, the anger, the sadness, it’s all there with the repeated questions.

rpunte0109

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/195118#Comment_195118

Thank you. We do that often but it just gets frustrating. My mom is 90. She has sundown, can’t be alone any more, hallucinations, anger and sadness. I try my best but sometimes I just lose it.

Anonymousjpl123

No easy way. My conversations with my mom get smaller and smaller. She asks how work is, I tell her, she understands little. Then she asks again. I ask how she is and she can’t think what to say. But eventually, sometimes, we find a flow of conversation. Mostly I just tell her I love her and that I’m there for her. It’s all so hard.

VKB

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/195140#Comment_195140

What a lovely way to take care of your mother by telling her often that you love her, and you are there for her.

darcytg

Rpunte,

Glad you found this forum. Sorry for your need to find it.

Caregiving can be frustrating and tragic. This disease is difficult for everyone it touches.

My LO is sometimes aware of asking the same questions repeatedly. I just tell her I'd be happy to answer 100 more times. How I stay calm is by being present with the fact that this disease is killing my LO's brain, and eventually body, and she wouldn't choose to be this way. It helps me focus on the compassion and love I have for her.

Also, offering to share tea and cookies usually moves us to another topic or activity when "looping".

Hope you find your zen with the questions.

Take good care ... glad you're here.