Working and caring for spouse with AD

Brokenhearted in Illinois

Last February, I abruptly had to leave my job to care full Time for DH. I thought it would be six months to get him through cancer treatment and then place in memory care. Almost a year later, still caring for him full time at home but am trying to find a part time position. We do not have children yo help us out. Any advice on how those who do both handle it. I am getting attractive opportunities but keep passing , we could benefit from the money not to mention my mental health. Thanks for sharing your experience. !

wizmo

I’m not able to do both career + caregiving, and accepted involuntary separation from my job last March. Those I have seen here get help in the form of day care or in-home caregiver, either hired or family. I suggest you figure out what can sustainably replace you first, to free up your time to return to work. Then you will have confidence in taking on something new. For myself I have tried and failed alternatives, now looking at MC as the next step in our journey.

Bill_2001

Hi Brokenhearted,

I am doing what you aspire to do (work and care-give). It is not for everyone, and it is unbelievably difficult. No one will fault you for doing one or the other.

I try to help by offering suggestions. If you have adult day care available in your area, give that a try. Perhaps start working only part time or find remote work or hybrid work.

It will be a daily, delicate house-of-cards and balancing act. I have access to adult day care; my wife attends 3 days per week. The other two days, I can work remotely can keep her home with me. It took some time to put this plan into motion. You may have to try several things before you find one that works.

Remember that nothing is permanent. You (and I) will need to change course as the disease progresses. I would not wish this nightmare on anyone. As my friends and family go places, excel in their careers, and plan for a bright future, I find myself just trying to get through another day.

Peace to you,

Bill_2001

Brokenhearted in Illinois

Thank you both for your thoughtful insights . It reaffirms Why I am feeling so frustrated in finding the balance I need so desperately in my life. Every time I feel excited about a new opportunity, there are so many obstacles.

HollyBerry

I'm in the same boat and am very lucky to have a hybrid work plan that let's me work from home 2 days a week. My partner doesn't go to a day program but somehow manages to volunteer at Habitat ReStore 2 afternoons a week. Those are the only times I'm alone in our house and I don't get much work done - sometimes I eat cookies and wash the kitchen floor. :-) My boss and her boss both know what's going on at home and have been really understanding. I would go absolutely crazy if I couldn't get out of here to go to work. I do know that I will hit the first possible retirement age right around the time my partner may be ready for MC so I'm going to try to hold out and work as long as humanly possible so I don't retire just at the point where I need the income and have the time to work.

avieDa921)

Hi neighbor, I’m from Missouri. My DH has ALZ 6 years now & our journey together has been frustrating! Once you get used to how things are, then something else comes along that you have to get used to again! My DH & I were both retired 14 years when he was diagnosed with it! I can’t imagine having to work & caring for my DH. My heart goes out to you & I do hope you can get help to get you where you need to be to give you peace of mind!

Best Wishes!