Is it too soon for MC

TNT5050

I'm in over my head. My husband has beginnings of alzheimers, not sure what stage... no one has told me. But since his diagnosis he's had a seizure and mini stroke and his physical health has deteriorated drastically. I have to answer the same question multiple times each day, he mostly only sleeps but when he isn't sleeping he is always asking about food. The other day he fell when he went to sit on the bed, it took me 20 minutes trying to get him off of the floor. In the last 2 weeks he has fallen out of the bed twice. He makes a mess when he goes #2 in the bathroom. I don't know when I should consider putting him in MC, but I'm also financially unsure about that as well. The local council on aging is trying to get us assistance through the state but it is taking forever. This is my first time to this group, I have so many thoughts, questions, concerns and get mad at myself for some of my thoughts. Was going to go to my first support group today but it was canceled.

charley0419

Take it slow! Get you POA and see an elder care professional

darcytg

Welcome to this space. Glad you found it ... the people here understand and care.

I think you've answered your own question. If you're feeling over your head and not happy with some of your thoughts, it sounds like something different will benefit both of you.

Only you know what's right for yourself and your DH....even then, not much about this ever feels truly right, from my point of view.

Caregiving (only a very short time for me) and this disease are some of the most emotionally difficult things I've ever experienced.

May I suggest reading Tam Cummings' website? I found the caregiver information very useful....especially the stages information. Also, care blazer videos. There is one on placing your LO, not sure it addresses your concerns.

Hoping the assistance comes through swiftly.

Read lots here, too. Vent if you need to...

Welcome.

Phoenix1966

Welcome and glad you found this place, but sorry you have to be here.

In my opinion, it is never too soon for memory care if you are already asking the question. In many states, MC(Memory Care) facilities, which specialize in dementia care, are often private pay. Medicaid doesn’t pay for it, instead paying for Skilled Nursing Facilities(SNFs). Again, that can be dependent on which state you live in.

Assuming you live in a state where you will have to private pay(and you don’t have any Long Term Care Insurance), you will want to start looking at facilities now, because there can be long waiting lists in some cases and even if you decide it is too soon for your situation, having a Plan B in the background is always recommended. What if you were to fall ill for a time? What if you needed surgery for some reason and had a long recovery? Who would take care of your husband in the interim? Unhappy thoughts, for sure, but they are possibilities.

As @charley0419 suggested, if you haven’t gotten your financial and long-term planning done(medical and legal POAs, etc), going to see a Certified Elder Law Attorney(CELA) can be a good place to start. Many offer initial consultations of an hour or so for free. You can discuss what kinds of legal documents you might be missing, what applying for Medicaid looks like in your state if you will need it, etc.

It seems so very overwhelming when you’re in the middle of it. But I found once I was able to start making plans, my anxiety was much more manageable. And I didn’t feel like I was drowning.

This is a great place for advice or a sympathetic ear. Please come back often.

M1

Adding my welcome. It's not too soon. There has been a lot of discussion of this lately on multiple threads. Honestly I think memory care is similar to hospice--most people wait too long. But that is understandable given the cost, which is a deterrent to a lot of folks.

sandwichone123

Now is the time to start looking into places in your area. There are a few terms: assisted living, memory care, nursing home, and others, but they are not well defined. So you have to go to many places to find a facility that has the right combination of ability to handle your spouse's specific needs, accepting the form(s) of payment that you need, location, and others. It's never too soon to start looking, at it sounds like his combination of needs will need placement much sooner than Alzheimer's alone might.

Nowhere

Where do you live? I’d suggest you start calling and visiting nursing/memory care homes now as some may screen him for state aid eligibility and accept him immediately if he would qualify and if a bed is available. This was the case for my husband recently. Seizures, strokes, and falling certainly signify higher care staffed by medical professionals.

Wishing you both peace and comfort.