Suggestions for clothing organization/ decreasing amount of clothing

Ash52083

My mother in law was just recently diagnosed with advanced Alzheimers and my husband and I are new to caregiving. My mother in law has A LOT of clothing. We recently went through clothes with her and got rid of a large amount but the amount she has is still very overwhelming to her and. She refuses to remove any more clothing from her room even though she doesn't wear most of the clothes. The problem is, she spends a large amount of time throughout the day going through her clothing, moving it and changing her clothes. Even if we help her pick out an outfit and get dressed in the morning, she will continue to go through drawers the rest of the day and change her clothing. We try to keep her occupied so that she doesn't focus on the clothing but it doesn't seem to be working. We have also organized and labeled her drawers, which is no longer effective because she moves things around so frequently. Are there any suggestions of what we can do to make our lives and her life easier when it comes to all of her clothing? Thank you!

Emily 123

Hello Ash,

Less is more for a person who is having trouble remembering what they've done from moment to moment, and who may be struggling to sequence the steps in a task. Too many things to choose from will become overwhelming. Wean things down to what she wears the most. I found that my mom would not recognize more recent clothing purchases as hers, especially gifts, but she would make a beeline for her most familiar day-to-day things. Now we just buy the same items for her over and over because that's what she looks for.

If you haven't already, a good step is to box up clothes that are out of season and store them away from where she'll find them. Then gradually remove things she doesn't wear. It will be easier to do this without her, as it may be too hard for her to make the choices. I would tell my mom I was taking things to wash.

There can be a time where your loved one will keep trying to organize their things but often forget mid-task where they started, resulting in a lot of searching through drawers and closets and misplacing stuff. In my mom's case I think this was because I had her moved in with me, and she had lost the familiarity of having her own things.. She would organize her drawer and closet a lot at night.

M1

Welcome to the forum. One of the things you will learn is that out of sight is out of mind, and that although it is counterintuitive, you need to stop consulting her and just whittle down the clothes when she is not in the room. In fact one of you may need to take her out for an outing while the other works on it. I can almost guarantee you that she will not notice. Just give her a few choices, and that's it.

However, you may find that she still wants to move things around and change clothes frequently, and there may be less you can do about that. Fidgeting with things is a feature of the disease for many, and if it's harmless, like changing outfits and moving things around, you may just have to put up with it. Engagement in other things may help somewhat, but not always. My partner is not interested in most group activities offered at her memory care facility and cannot initiate any activities to amuse herself, so she is constantly rearranging things in her room. Relatively harmless, but frustrating. I keep the furnishings to a minimum because of this behavior.

H1235

I agree that going through things without her would probably be best. If you’re afraid she will notice and get upset do it just a few things at a time little by little. I would also recommend keeping just clothes for the current season in her room. Also packing up holiday clothes. My mother in law would wear Christmas sweaters in July and tank tops in winter. Sister in-laws were in charge of clothes. As you are going through things also keep in mind how easy it is to get on. Wearing things backwards or inside out may become an issue eventually. It may also be a good idea to keep extra pajamas, robes and comfy things packed away rather than given away. As things progress she may need that type of clothing more.

Jeanne C.

Welcome. I echo the suggestions to pare down the clothes when she is not around. I donated all my husband's business attire and cut down the other clothes by half. He never noticed.

To limit the rummaging but still allow some autonomy, I set up a small foldable hanging rack with a couple of options. My husband changes his shirt multiple times a day. I return the shirt he takes off to the rack, where it will go back into rotation. Every few days I replace them with a few more and wash the dirty ones.

harshedbuzz

Hi and welcome.

I am sorry for your reason to be here but happy you found this place.

Question: How is this a problem at your house? Is she messing up the house by dragging things out into the living space or dumping clean things in with dirty causing more work for you?

Does her rummaging and changing cause her distress or is something that occupies her? At dad's MCF, laundry/folding is an activity for those ladies who enjoy it. Your MIL may be one of those folks. Sometimes the aides, would give certain fretful PWD a basket of tea towels to fold as something to do. I used to let my MIL mate socks-- it made her feel useful.

If it is a problem, it would make sense to pare down the amount she has available to her at any one time. One man in my IRL support group had his wife's favorite granddaughter come and create "capsule wardrobes" with her. They put together a week's worth of outfits including shoes and accessories in her room and then created more that were stored in totes "out of sight" that the DH could swap in weekly.

I wouldn't toss everything-- formal wear and career clothing could go, but as the disease progresses, you may find shirts get stained by food spills and pants can get soiled to a point where sometimes it makes sense to toss rather than wash. I would also hold onto smaller sizes if she has any. Most PWD will start to lose weight in the later stages, it's nice to just pull out a tote of the next size down.

In your shoes, I would have your DH take her out for lunch and a hair appointment, while you go through the clothing and get it a week's worth in the drawers and the rest organized by size/season in storage. If her rummaging is very upsetting to you, you can also reverse the locks on her room and any others where you don't want her to go. We did this when dad was hiding things on us.

HB

DVGS

You mentioned you "keep her occupied", does that involve any tasks she can do herself (assuming she is capable and willing)? My grandmother is senile and very antisocial, leaving her to constantly rummage through most of the house in a similar manner and while it's still an issue it got a lot better when we gave her more ways to entertain herself.

I don't know your inlaw's interests but in our case word searches, puzzles and books are great ways for her to pass the time and keep her hands busy in a way she can still understand. Television also helps but she tends to not be terribly interested and has an odd tendency to randomly change the channel to things that don't engage her.

mrsabaldwin

I did not recognize my PWD’s hoarding especially clothing as part of her early dementia signs. Between cleaning out her home after a hip surgery to moving her twice, I used different methods to help her eliminate excess clothing, etc. The first time I told her that she needed to make the decisions because someday she would most likely have no control over it and the decisions would be made for her. Even then I had to sneak stuff out. The next two times, I had family distract her while I just cleared stuff out. Now I’m getting ready to scale down what she has left. It will probably upset her so I will bring my granddaughter and dog into her room to distract her.