Good days / no so good days

brs

My DH is somewhere in the middle of dementia ?? We shared a couple of peaceful days and today the flip side. I now know to tread lightly by not discussing anything requiring a decision from him on these days, even so, the roller coaster is challenging. I'm new to this discussion forum and thank you all for being here.

M1

Hi brs and welcome to the forum. One of the hardest lessons for us spouses is that we have to quit discussing anything in the mutual manner you are used to. Even on good days. You just have to make the decisions yourself and present things as a done deal, nothing that requires or asks input from him. It's so natural to seek this input, but as you have already seen it will only stress him out. This is part of losing the partnership before you actually lose the person, and it's very painful indeed. Itvtakes time and practice.

charley0419

my DW isn’t too bad yet , but as far as arguing don’t bother just try and defuse situations and move on there’s no reasoning

Whyzit2

My DH is incapable of making a decision between chicken nuggets or a burger at McDonald’s and yet sometimes I still want his input on decisions at home. Silly me. Acceptance comes hard.

SSHarkey

Welcome! We all understand your situation. And it’s a big transition from mutual discussion to unilateral action. I’d encouraged you to build a safety net for yourself. Those people you trust, the doctor, specific family members, to help you when the decisions get tough. This group is a wonderful source of information and ideas to help you along the way.

Mimi50

It is hard marriage is partnership. You are married with husband who can't be partner to you anymore. My husband diagnosed year ago with VD. Asking his input when making decisions. Is not really something I do. It stresses him out. I am so sorry it is very hard.