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Good days / no so good days

brs
brs Member Posts: 46
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Member

My DH is somewhere in the middle of dementia ?? We shared a couple of peaceful days and today the flip side. I now know to tread lightly by not discussing anything requiring a decision from him on these days, even so, the roller coaster is challenging. I'm new to this discussion forum and thank you all for being here.

Comments

  • M1
    M1 Member Posts: 6,788
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    Hi brs and welcome to the forum. One of the hardest lessons for us spouses is that we have to quit discussing anything in the mutual manner you are used to. Even on good days. You just have to make the decisions yourself and present things as a done deal, nothing that requires or asks input from him. It's so natural to seek this input, but as you have already seen it will only stress him out. This is part of losing the partnership before you actually lose the person, and it's very painful indeed. Itvtakes time and practice.

  • charley0419
    charley0419 Member Posts: 372
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    my DW isn’t too bad yet , but as far as arguing don’t bother just try and defuse situations and move on there’s no reasoning

  • SSHarkey
    SSHarkey Member Posts: 298
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    Welcome! We all understand your situation. And it’s a big transition from mutual discussion to unilateral action. I’d encouraged you to build a safety net for yourself. Those people you trust, the doctor, specific family members, to help you when the decisions get tough. This group is a wonderful source of information and ideas to help you along the way.

  • Mimi50
    Mimi50 Member Posts: 144
    100 Comments First Anniversary 5 Likes 5 Care Reactions
    Member

    It is hard marriage is partnership. You are married with husband who can't be partner to you anymore. My husband diagnosed year ago with VD. Asking his input when making decisions. Is not really something I do. It stresses him out. I am so sorry it is very hard.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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