Major Life Changes

mommafour

I haven't been on this message board for awhile because we have had soooo much going on lately. DH has been in a steady decline in his Alzheimer's status this year which has required some major life changes for us. I had been overwhelmed with stress in balancing my job, managing home maintenance/repairs, and DH, so the answer seemed to be sell the house, downsize, and retire. My oldest son and my step-daughter and step-son-in-law helped me do the work to get our home ready to list and sort/purge to prepare for downsizing. I also gave my supervising attorney notice that I planned to retire at the end of the year. I didn't stop to think how all of this would come together logistically. As a result, it happened that within the last 10 days of 2023 we moved out of the City and back to DH's hometown an hour away (I had also lived there with him for many years and we still have friends there), the sale of our home closed, my last day of employment occurred after 18 1/2 years at a job that I loved, then I attended Christmas dinner with extended family on my side a couple of days later. Unfortunately, my mother passed away somewhat unexpectedly the day after Christmas. It was a blessing that she spent Christmas day with all of her children/grandchildren. Her funeral occurred on what was originally scheduled to be my last day of work. Then the unpacking finally started with help from my second son. We have been in our apartment for 1 month now. It has been an adjustment for both of us and our pets. During the past few years, we had always planned to move back to DH's hometown when I retired, so he has been very happy with the plan. It is the same distance from our combined children as our prior location. Unfortunately, DH sleeps most of the day and doesn't recall that we have already moved. He forgets where we are and tells me he can't wait to "go home" to his hometown. All of this happened a few years earlier than I had planned. I am 16 years younger than DH and hoped to work a few more years. As we know, Alzheimer's makes different plans for our lives and I am learning to accept all of these changes. I am thankful that we had supportive family helping me through these stressful days.

JeriLynn66

@mommafour What a whirlwind! Please accept my condolences for the loss of your dear Mother. Prayers for peace during this transition and forward.

M1

That is indeed a lot, lot to go through in such a short time. Sorry about your mom-mine died on Christmas night, so I know the feeling and the memories of that last day spent together are pretty important. Glad to hear from you and hope you now have time to settle in....

LaneyG

I’m so sorry for the loss of your mom. My mom passed 13 yrs ago yesterday. I had a good cry thinking about how much I missed her and still need her. You are so fortunate to have family that are so involved. Wishing you an easy adjustment, and settling in to your new home.

mommafour

JerriLynn66 - Thank you. Peace is exactly what I am hoping for with all of these changes. I am determined to live a simple, peaceful life as much as possible under the circumstances to preserve my own sanity.

M1 - Thank you. Sorry about your mom too.

LaneyG - Thanks. I feel very thankful for our supportive blended family who assisted me. I know there is no way I could have accomplished all of this without them.

CindyBum

My deepest condolences about the loss of your mother.

When I read all that you have done, I marvel at your strength and persistence.

We also moved a year ago to a quieter, more peaceful place and a less stressful job for me. Though I still struggle with the heartbreak of it all, the move has absolutely brought us a measure of peace we wouldn’t have had still living in the San Francisco Bay Area.

Here’s to much-needed and much-appreciated moments of real peace to you too! I see that in your future.

mrahope

OMG! So much change in so short an amount of time. Please do take pride in accomplishing this big move and retirement in such a short time, it's a lot. And I am so sorry about your mother, adding such a loss to all this must be very tough indeed. Thoughts coming your way for a peaceful period from now on.

Denise1847

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/67892/major-life-changes

Wow! You are a mover and shaker. Congratulations as you have accomplished alot of wise moves in a short period of time. I am so sorry for the loss of your Mom. I hope your journey gets easier for you