delusions

tetwoman

Hello. I don't post very often, but have been reading posts more and more. Today, we went to the grocery store. Everything was fine until I had to go to the bathroom. We wheeled the cart to the entrance to the bathroom. I told my husband to stay there with the cart, which he did. When I came out 3 or 4 minutes later, he refused to move. He said he was waiting for the others to come. Then he wanted to know where the other woman was. He wouldn't move. He didn't know who I was. I just stood there with him and cried quietly. Didn't know what to do. Then I said to him, I think the ones he is waiting for are by the car. Let's get some ice cream and check out and then go to the car. This he did. I am just emotionally wiped out when these episodes occur. Just wanted to share, and wonder if anyone else has experienced this.

trottingalong

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/67905/delusions

My DH has not reached that point of not knowing who I am, but I fear it could be coming. I believe I would respond like you. No matter how much I read about others going through this, I have this fantasy it won’t happen to us. Can you ever be prepared? I don’t think so. Revel in the moments where your DH knows you and live in the moment. That’s what I try so desperately to do. I’m sorry you had to go through this.

tigersmom

I am so sorry that this happened to you and your DH. Mine just reported his first visual hallucination, fortunately at home, but I fear every time I have to leave him standing with the cart at a warehouse club. Hugs to you.

tetwoman

Thank you guys for your comments and support. These moments are scary and unpredictable. I feel a crushing weight as I move from loving wife to caregiver. It is a lonely journey for all of us.

easy23

I have had to keep trips outside of the home to a minimum because of incidences like this. It sounds like you handled it well!

LaneyG

Oh my. You handled it so well. My DH also took on the role of pushing the cart for me. Other wise we lose each other. Both DH and I love to get out of the house and go places. I fear that incident such as you described are not far off for us. I’m beginning to feel a bit more anxious bringing him to many places. Just gut instincts. Hang in there.

ButterflyWings

I'm sorry you went through this, but glad it ended so well. Good for you, for thinking and acting on your feet and being able to convince him to work with you. Be aware, things like this may signal that the time has come that he must be constantly "line of sight", as my DH has been since early mid-stages. Now stage 7, he is only a danger to himself due to choking, falling, hyper oral behavior of eating or drinking anything (non-food included), etc.

For us, the early disappearing acts, eloping, his attempted hijackings of the car, either not recognizing me (or recognizing me primarily as an enemy or threat), turning/leaving on burners, cooking something metal in microwave, flooding kitchen due to laundry detergent in the dishwasher (once) or leaving faucet on and sink plugged (2x), weaponing up to clobber non-existent intruders, etc. These were things that I only knew "might" be in the cards, because of this forum. Unfortunately, the first time they popped up each time it was without any warning that "today's the day". Like you, we have been very lucky. I always rushed to shore up gaps as soon as they were identified but that is terrifying, anxiety producing, and contributes to the stress levels that take too many caregivers before dementia takes their LOs. But you all know this if you've lived through those phases already.

These episodes (and more) were what led us to regular meds (Seroquel) to minimize his delusions and hallucinations, and for me to learn more about UTIs than I ever wanted to know. Be careful everyone, as once they stop recognizing you even momentarily, the safety-proofing for home applies to your safety as well as our PWD LOs. For us the safest route quickly became "don't ask, don't tell" And "don't wait". When progression was evident in one area, very often things escalated in other areas that I did not anticipate. And we had some very close calls in Stages 4-5 and even early 6...with his anosognosia complicating the situation.

Rambling. I will stop here. You can do this, but definitely be as proactive as possible. We often wait longer than we likely should when the dangerous trickster dementia takes over. BTW, I will never forget the first time he asked "where did she go?" The other woman. He meant me. Broke my heart.