Physical Aggression - Facilities Will Not Take Him

BCave2024

This is my father who is 81 years old. We put him in Memory Care because he was starting to get violent with my mom and he was sent to Psych ward because he was hitting staff. The only meds are the meds that help are ones that knock him out completely and then when he is awake he has to be restrained with his hands tied to the bed. We are now being told that Memory Care, Long Term Care and assisted living facilities will not take him with this behavior. Has anyone else been in a similar situation? There is no way he can go back to living at home. He needs 24 hour one on one care and supervision.

harshedbuzz

Hi and welcome. I am sorry for your reason to be here but glad you found this space.

Your mantra going forward needs to be "we cannot take him home- it isn't safe". Do not take him home. Do not let them wear you down to try to create a discharge pan for home.

The psych unit should have an MSW whose job it is to arrange a placement-- insist they do it.

HB

jfkoc

The short answer is yes.

If you would be willing to add some background we could be better help to you.

What meds/dose were being taken before the hitting started?

What meds/dose were then prescribed and by who?

What prompted the violence at home? At MC?

What kind of Dr was treating your father when he was at home? At MC?

What is the training program at the MC care both initial and ongoing? More often than not a problem is due to untrained staff.

I think illegal in some states. Was this in the MC.

Diagnosis is difficult but important and proper protocol needs to be followed. There is more than one kind of dementia and the drugs used to treat are different.

I know this is a lot of questions but we really want to be of more help than to just say I am sorry.

I applaud you for being and advocate for your parents. It is not an easy task!

-Judith

wizmo

While touring MCFs one nursing director told me they routinely refuse difficult behaviors at initial placement but generally have to deal with evolving changes and can do better if they know good baseline. They suggested if I got into a crisis situation like yours the normal route should be keep in psych ward until right combination of meds is found to stabilize then can be placed.

M1

Agree completely, he needs to go back to the psych ward and stay until a medication regimen is found that controls his behaviors without oversedating him. This could take several weeks, and then he can be reevaluated for placement. You will need to sound like a broken record about home care not being possible.