Memory Care Resources

Nighttide

Hi, I’m new here and feeling overwhelmed with trying to narrow down the good memory care facilities. Are there any trusted resources to help me with this? I want to get a leg up on it, and I have seen people mentioning needing to get on a waiting list. My mom seems to be stage 5, and maybe heading into stage 6. Thank you so much! I’m really glad y’all are here.

harshedbuzz

@Nighttide

The first thing I suggest is avoiding A Place for Mom. Their business sells your contact information to a curated list of "their" top places. It's basically advertising. Their business model is charging their client-MCFs a commission (kickback) when you sign a contract with the MCF. I'm told this amount is generally equivalent to a month's stay in the place and is "baked" into your fees. Personally, I'd rather that money go into training or salary increases for staff that translate into good care.

While many of the places on their list are very nice, where I live none accept Medicaid either on admission or when the resident has outlived their assets. Most of them tended to cherry-pick their residents for the cooperatively and pleasantly befuddled. Folks who develop behavior issues are generally asked to go elsewhere. Dad wouldn't have lasted a week there as it took him a while to settle in.

Another issue I had with APFM was that once your contact information is out there, you will continue to get solicitation calls from the various facilities. This happened a lot when a new sales director came in or a facility changed corporate ownership. I had a call a few months after dad died asking if I was considering placing a loved one. Mom heard the call on Bluetooth, and it took me a while to assure her she wasn't going anywhere.

I found the best resource to be word-of-mouth. Ask around-- ask the person who grooms the dog or cuts your hair, people at church and the doctor's office as well as neighbors and coworkers. I found the folks at my IRL support group very helpful in narrowing down places to tour. But at the end of the day, touring will give the best sense of fit and quality. When you tour, make sure you see the MC side of things. Sometimes the sales folks will show off the AL or personal care side which is structurally similar but not populated by PWD. If Medicaid or higher acuity SN might be necessary be sure to tour their as well. Sometimes bigger care campuses have units that might be better than others-- one place I looked did hospice and independent living wonderfully well, but their MC wasn't as good as other places. Another had a great MC side, but the SNF/Medicaid unit (PA Medicaid doesn't fund MC so those people end up in a SNF) had good care but was kind of drab and dreary. It would have matter to dad, but visiting would be less pleasant.

Waiting lists will be dependent on where you are geographically and how you are paying. I drove by 12 places on the way to dad's MCF and they've built 2 more since. Being able to pay out-of-pocket for 2-3 years before converting to Medicaid meant there weren't any waitlists at most places. My first choice would have been the state's VA Home-- they don't take Medicaid but offer a very masculine atmosphere, great staff and significantly lower monthly rates-- but their waiting list was going to be 4-6 months.

HB

Emily 123

Hi nighttide,

Like HB said, word of mouth is great, Your Mom's doctor can write an order for a social worker consult to help you too--this can be useful or not, depending on the SW. Also--if you know any physical or occupational therapists-- they know the reputations of places very well as they see and hear everything. If you know anyone that works in healthcare they may be able to help, or know someone. Several friends had family with dementia--one actually had been kicked out of an MC for agitation but ended up thriving in a care home.

Your state's department of health may have a website that posts facility inspection results. Even the best facilities will get dinged on occasion, but outliers should be addressed and serious issues shouldn't be re-occurring.

Each facility is licensed by the state to handle a certain type of patient, and within that they have leeway to determine what they can provide or what they consider 'skilled nursing'. So IF your loved one develops a need for care that the MC can't support, they may ask for a transfer to a skilled nursing facility (SNF). For some places, that are masquerading as MC's, it might be the requirement to puree foods, or hand feed the resident. The need to use a lift to transfer the person may be a dividing line too-Ask the facility what they can support. And ask them what percentage of their MC patients transfer out to a SNF. A place that's licensed to keep up with their resident's needs as they progress fairly well might not see a lot of transfers to a SNF, but a facility that's not able to provide care for typical late-stage dementia patients would have more.

Here's the Virginia website where you can look at inspection reports, other states may have something similar. https://www.dss.virginia.gov/facility/search/alf.cgi

You can see that there's a difference between the designations of 'Special Care' (MC), Non-Ambulatory' and 'AL' care facilities. Some facilities can provide all 3.