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New Behavior - Poop Everywhere!

Hello,

First, thank you to everyone who posts and responds. I've been reading these posts for years now, and know I'm not alone. This is my first time posting because I'm at a loss.

Mom lives with me and is Stage 6 Alzheimer's, FAST 6e. The newest behavior is taking her poop and placing it various places in her room, especially her closet (like she's trying to hide it). She then wipes her hands on the clean clothes hanging in the closet.

This happens in the morning before I wake up. I don't sleep in, but I also don't want to wake up at 4AM in anticipation of this behavior. Because once she's up, she's up and has to be entertained.

I'm lucky it's pretty solid right now and easy to clean up, but fecal incontinence really was my limit after caregiving for over five years. I applied to have her placed in a residential facility but the application was denied due to the fact she's still ambulatory. The rest of the team at the center believes she should be placed, but their administration would rather increase her days at the day center rather than find a facility.

I'm still devastated by the decision, and am trying to liquidate assets so I can look for private pay, but I won't have enough until I sell her house. So I have to put up with the poop for the time being. Does anyone have any tips or tricks for this behavior?

Comments

  • M1
    M1 Member Posts: 6,788
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    Oh my, what a nightmare. It sounds like you need to have her in clothing that she can't remove. I believe there's a website called Buck and Buck (probably buckandbuck.com but Google it) that sells clothes that fasten in the back so that she won't be able to reach into the diaper/brief/undergarment. I'm sorry. I've not heard of someone being refused admission under these circumstances. If it's Medicaid, is it because she doesn't have a skilled need? So frustrating on so many levels.

  • greenbina
    greenbina Member Posts: 3
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    Thank you so much, M1! They have a great selection. I'll give that a shot.

    We're in California and she's currently enrolled in a PACE program, so all costs are paid via Medi-Cal and Medicare. I understand their goal is to keep folks as independent as possible in their own homes, but Mom's disease has progressed much faster in the last six months since she enrolled than any of us expected. She's just physically very healthy.

  • H1235
    H1235 Member Posts: 552
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    wow! How difficult. Could you empty her closet and maybe strip the room down to nothing and store clothes where she can’t get to them? I know you would still a have poo to deal with but it cleanup might be easier. Could you get some kind of motion sensor alarm that would wake you when she gets up in the morning. Again it’s not much. This is tough.

  • greenbina
    greenbina Member Posts: 3
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    Those are good ideas too. I don't have much in there, but I do have totes that create a "shelf" for her to place it on. Definitely moving it all to the garage. I'll look at alarms as well, that way I don't set my phone alarm any earlier than I have to. Thank you!

  • MYnxchapter1935
    MYnxchapter1935 Member Posts: 3
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    I can say I purchased from Amazon the “Smart Caregiver Wireless Motion Sensor Alarm System with Pager” about 5 years ago and can’t say enough good things about it. At that time MIL was peeing everywhere in her room, inside drawers, vases, shoes, and on bed thinking it was the toilet as she had stood up then sat down. Husband and I did clear her room of everything but the bed and got the motion monitor.

    We placed the detector on the floor facing the bed, as to pick up feet hitting the floor. The alarm pager is very loud so we placed it in a couple socks to soften the sound. It will go off when it detects any movement but we generally ignore if we only hear one round of pager noise. If it continues to go off we know she is either getting up or moving around because she needs to be changed. Especially with the problems we occasionally have with her smearing poo in the bed the motions alarm us to check.

    Another unexpected nice thing is the distance we can go with the pager. We are able to enjoy our backyard and pool no problem. This last summer we tested and learned we can go across the street to a neighbors and it still works. This gave us that release I so desperately needed to get a little out of our house. We bought a second one to tract should she leave the family room area while I try to do laundry or other chores. I just take the pager with me. We did have to label unit 1 and unit 2.

    I hope this helps! Everyone on this board is so brave and in need of any little thing information to help us through the day and night.

  • DTSbuddy
    DTSbuddy Member Posts: 89
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    RE nighttime, I made the choice to get used to interrupted sleep rather than clean the rugs. My DH cannot remember where the toilet is, and sometimes does not recognize it as something to urinate in when he does find it. I share his bed. When he sits up, I wake up, and I guide him to the water closet and back.

    He is physically active, but aphasic. Current problem is he will not urinate before leaving house, so we must plan to find toilets. I have a young helper who takes him on walks, which he enjoys, but we risk losing her help because she is embarrassed at having to keep him from relieving himself in a neighbor's yard.

    Thanks for sharing. I feel less isolated and appreciate the shared experiences.

  • ButterflyWings
    ButterflyWings Member Posts: 1,752
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    edited February 6

    I don't think I will ever forget the day DH walked ahead of me at a rest stop and paused -- I thought he was gazing at the flag waving in the breeze.

    As I caught up with him, I found that, no -- he had stopped right in plain view of the parking spaces to do his business and was calmly, leisurely "watering the base of the flag pole", while looking up at the sky just as nonchalant as you please. The flag wasn't the only thing waving in the wind that day.

    We were very lucky that the rest area was fairly deserted at the time so no families were "exposed" to his unknowing public pee break. I rushed to get him zipped up and respectable again, not a moment too soon. The security person rounded the side of the building in their golf cart-service vehicle and glanced at us but continued on with his rounds.

    Had he been on scene a minute or two earlier, we might have been arrested for indecent exposure and maybe even have to go to court in another state to clear DH's name. At the very least he could have traumatized someone's young children which his pre-dementia self would never do, and in fact would have been mortified at the thought.

  • ButterflyWings
    ButterflyWings Member Posts: 1,752
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    Otherwise, to the OP, I feel your pain as a bona fide fellow member of the blue glove club. I am SO grateful DH does not generally use it anywhere but the toilet, or his incontinence briefs increasingly. And so far, only 2x did he reach in and start trying to remove the offensive stuff himself, getting it on the bedding and under his fingernails (and on his forehead, etc.) aka isht-storms R Us too, sometimes. Sigh. Not his fault, so I just clean it (and him) up.

    When the poo escapes where it is supposed to be, the smell is the worst thing for me, aside from the extra time to deep clean, sanitize, and do goo-gobs of laundry. I learned another genius hack here...shaving cream helps with clean up and it is gentle on his skin (made for his face so that makes sense). The best thing is if is relatively inexpensive, and gets rid of the odor quickly. If I were you, I'd go with Buck & Buck or some other clothing option that opens from behind and prevents your LO from taking it off by themselves. At least you will know where their #1 and #2 are, even though you will still have a mess (and also a person) to clean up.

    I just finished toileting and sponge bathing my beloved a few minutes ago. My advice? Hold your nose, Handle your (their) business, and Hang in there.

  • Kibbee
    Kibbee Member Posts: 229
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    Shaving cream, what would I do without it? I’m forever grateful to this board for making me aware of its value as a gentle, effective, no drips / stays exactly where you need it to be - clean up assistant.

Commonly Used Abbreviations


DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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