Like The Good Ol' Days

MrToad

Before she moved to memory care, I enjoyed taking DW to the movies, though it was sometimes challenging. The darkness scared her, the sound blasted her, and she didn’t always “follow the rules”. One time, as the tension rose in the lead-up to the shoot-out in The Magnificent Seven, my sweetheart just said loud and clear, “Oh just shoot the SOB’s” (only, she used a less polite epithet).

But going to the movies together can be such a sweet experience. So a few friends and I have now set up a program to make it easy and fun for PLWDs and their carepartners, family and friends to go and enjoy the movies again, just like the old days.

We call it A Friendly Day At The Movies and it is a monthly dementia-friendly movie event at our local commercial theatre, part of the large Emagine chain here in the Midwest. We show a classic musical (e.g. Singin in the Rain, or White Christmas or Mamma Mia) We keep soft lighting on for everyone’s safety and comfort, and we reduce the sound power from "Stun" to “Nice”. And we throw out the rules. We encourage guests to talk, to clap to the music, tap their feet, sing along, get up and dance in the aisles. (And they do!)

These simple adaptations are similar to how they run dementia friendly cinemas in multiple places in the UK, but for what we believe is the first-in-the-US dementia friendly movie program, we (“Dementia Friendly Saline”) have added a few features, like old fashioned tickets and a ticket taker (no messing with a pesky ticket-tron machine), souvenir badges and programs, goody bags, a literature table, door prizes, costume contests, free popcorn and soda, social time around a fingerfood buffet, pre-movie singalongs and an occasional flashmob, on the screen and on the proscenium. And did I mention the Road Runner cartoons? The way we do it, it’s sort of a party where we show a movie.

But the essential program (soft lights and sound for a classic movie, and no hard rules, plus some volunteer/staff support to help everyone feel welcome and safe) could easily be replicated in thousands of theatres nationwide. And maybe somewhere else, they’ll come up with even better ideas.

As to here in Saline MI, pop 9000, we get about 85-90 people every month, some from an hour away, to come and enjoy the movies together, like they used to. One spouse said “It was so good to see my husband feel visible again.” A daughter said her mom “Felt like she belonged”. A couple said that coming to the movies and just having it on their calendar as a regular event, has been “a life changing experience”. Another spouse said, sobbing joyfully, “I just had a date with my husband for the first time in 9 years. We shared popcorn and held hands just like the old days.”

We believe we are making a difference, and the Family Caregiver Alliance out of San Francisco agreed when they recently recognized our program with their national Innovations in Caregiving Award.

And it’s all because my dear wife was who she was at one of her favorite movies. For so long and still today, she is my inspiration. 

ButterflyWings

LOVE LOVE LOVE this! And her commentary made me laugh out loud hahaha! You two are definitely a power couple and I am so glad you are such an advocate for your DW that we all benefit!

Is it OK to share this idea with our local cinemas or government agencies that could help underwrite some of the program cost maybe? If not monthly, we might get some to start off with a quarterly pilot program.

How do we give full credit to you for your concept? Or should we put them in touch with you directly somehow? This is really huge and you're right - it should be national. Soon! Thank you again!

Ed1937

WOW Toad! You are certainly making a difference. If you don't mind, I'm going to copy this and send it to all our kids. You are quite an inspiration!!

Kat63

Agree wholeheartedly Toad, this idea is fantastic and I would like to share it as well. thanks so much for sharing this!

Joydean

Wow!! I too would love to share your idea if that’s okay with you!!

MrToad

Glad you guys like the idea. We are ready to help others replicate the idea If interested, go to our website dfsaline.org and contact either Jim or Chelsea. We can give you lots of how-to info, funding info etc.

ImMaggieMae

What fantastic ideas you come up with, MrToad! Making the world more inclusive and suited to people with dementia is so heartwarming. You are a wonderful advocate for your dear wife.

Iris L.

This is thinking outside the box--a great idea!

Iris

Cecil Jones

Great idea! I'm sure a lot of people would be interested and want to know more. Does anyone know how to copy your comment so I can paste it onto another site? I'm a member of two groups on Facebook "Alzheimer's Spouse Journal and Support Group" "Tips for Alzheimer's Caregivers" and I'm sure some would be interested. Thanks,

Edited: I figured it out and leaving my question in case someone else wants to copy and paste. I hope someone else can explain how, better than I.

MrToad

On my computer, I just "left mouse click and hold" to select the comment, and then choose "copy" from the pop-up menu that appears. That puts the selected material onto your clipboard, from which you can then paste it wherever else you want. That's on my Windows-based machine. Your mileage may vary.