Mom's decline

mpang123

My mom is my dad's caregiver who has dementia. But she too is having cognitive decline. I'm the only person who helps and monitor both their needs. I wish I could be their POA but I can't because I'm on SSDI. My uncle in Canada is the current POA but Mom thinks he's too far and old to be POA. The only choice is to appoint my nephew who is only 24yo. My sister lives in Michigan and we are in Texas. She is estranged from the family and not trustworthy. My dad's condition is stable. He is easy to take care of. He mostly sleeps and eats. My mom is the one I'm worried about because if she becomes incompetent, both my parents can't live alone anymore. I can't move in with them because I live in a HUD apartment and is very affordable. I would risk losing my food stamps and SLMB benefits and my independence which I have worked so hard on. I visit my parents 2 to 4 times a week. My mom has short term memory loss and gets confused about many things. I'm trying very hard to keep on top of everything and be responsible for their well being. I have no other help or ideas. My parents see their PCP this month and I plan to give the doctor the thumbs up of how they are doing and see what he suggests. Dad is visited by palliative SW and doctor but they don't do much unless he gets worse. I guess when hospice takes over, at least he would get some home health. My mom is physically healthy still. I keep letting my mom know that she has to plan how to afford AL/MC when the time comes. She said she'll tap into her assets/resources. I just feel like I carry a burden and don't know what to do. Should I just sit back and not be so concerned? I don't think so.

Belle

Has SSA or an attorney told you you can't be the POA because you are on SSDI? SSA won't accept a POA from you to do business with SSA on behalf of your parents they have a different process that you need to follow. You would have to file to be a representative payee with SSA. Most Federal agencies have a separate process that is similar to becoming a POA (the IRS and VA are two that I know have a different process also). You really need to talk to an attorney first before anyone makes any decisions involving legal matters like who will be the POA.

mpang123

Belle, my nephew and I are going to see elder law to discuss POA. I heard we can have a free consultation and then take it from there.