Activity and distraction ideas
First off you are all awesome. I have learned so much from you. Thanks!
It didn’t take me long to figure out that the busier, more distracted, I could keep DH the happier our days are. The minute he gets bored things start to go down hill. I find keeping things busy is exhausting among all else.
we currently watch movies, old tv shows, listen to music, go out to eat, visit a store or the senior center. We also make up our own rules for monopoly which he alway enjoyed playing. Any suggestions for easy card and board games that will work well enough for stage 4? Better yet…independent activities for stage 4 so I can get things done while getting time to my thoughts?
Comments
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Wash the dishes in the sink. Empty the dishwasher. Fold laundry. Organize his drawers, closet, garage. Clean out the inside of the car. All those manual labor things that don’t require any special skills but can help him believe he’s helping you. It doesn’t matter if it’s done “right”. I find things in very interesting places. But he’s helping me, and that makes him feel useful.
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I have a portable shredder and will place it in front of his chair with a pile of bills and other papers. He enjoys shredding them and then taking the shredded paper to the recycle bin when it fills up.
Be careful to not let him have access to the shredder by himself, or he might start shredding everything in sight!
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It seems that the ideas here are "real", such as household tasks like organizing the garage, etc. Did anyone find hobby, or non-household things to do, like a puzzle, knitting, etc. will work?
It seems that some things like organizing are similar to rummaging, so it is easier to start doing if PWD is prone to doing them. But it will take effort to learn a new puzzle.
However, things like puzzles are less dangerous, compared to the shredding idea presented earlier, or less disruptive, like organizing a closet (which can get messed up with things in the wrong places)
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Sorting old papers….photos…..art stuff always on the dining room table…glueing photos to colored paper for an album…list spices on hand…simple model airplanes …painting model cars….easy puzzles
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This was a long shot that actually worked. I ran across an craft article about "Diamond Art." It is sticking these small plastic bead on a sticky canvas to form a picture. Kind of like paint by numbers. Can't try paint by numbers because he spills, drops or knocks over things very frequently. By the way, there are plastic beads all over the house now. I thought….maybe. I ordered and brought it home and started to work on it myself. His curiosity was peaked so I asked him if he wanted to help me. Of course he said no that that it was stupid. He changed his tune the next day. He has decorated Christmas card and Easter cards for family and friends, finished lots of landscapes and other designs. He is at home alone while I at work and this gives him a purpose.
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Rake leaves. The Secret Service strew out leaves every night so that President Reagan could find leaves to rake every morning.
Iris
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Thanks Iris, I did not know that! Learn something every day 😊xo
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I know Reagan was beloved by many, but what kind of country has a commander in chief with dementia?
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I tried to get my DH interested in puzzles or cards to no avail. He said they made him feel stupid. The puzzles were just too difficult and learning a card game too frustrating. For me, the small household tasks work best. Today he helped me rake some leaves and then washed the few dishes in the sink. I may have to rewash some of the dishes, but that’s ok. He feels like he’s contributing.
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That's a good point. I feel that there's a strong desire to contribute, and to make oneself useful. So even though it's easier for me to do things, I'll leave things half-done, so that is can be completed by a PWD (with a little supervision)
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President Reagan was diagnosed six years after leaving office.
Iris
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Same here! I ask him to empty out the dishwasher. Sometimes it takes a while to find things later. Settthe table with the silverware and napkins is another one. He feels purposeful. I make sure to thank him for his help.
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It is so hard to keep DH occupied. Along with dementia he has severe macular degeneration so his vision is quite impacted. I have created some fidget boxes…. Collection of whatever stuff…for him to go through. First one was his mother’s old costume jewelry. He loves going through, it’s very tactile and he likes to get a strong light to look ant the pieces.
A box of old photos, letters, memories. We go through those, me reading the items to him.Now I have a garage box. Anything that is not dangerous…a piece of sprinkler head. A couple of magnets. A half used roll of plastic string. Small flashlight. etc, etc.
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What a great idea! When you mentioned “magnets” in the garage box, it reminded me of those magnet sculpture kits. I bet something like that might be interesting to some. And there’s no right or wrong way to arrange them. And you can put them together and take them apart over and over again.
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Has anyone used one of those "activity" or "fidget" blankets"? The ones I've seen typically have things like zippers, buttons and other objects to move/spin/zip/button, etc. to relieve anxiety and restlessness.
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Would he fiddle w a carpenters busy board?
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While I agree that these are fun, I'd make sure one does not swallow two or more of these magnets, which is considered dangerous for children, and perhaps for PWDs.
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In hopes that maybe this would help someone, I offer the following.
When the grands were young they would come over and help with chores. We would get out a deck of cards. We'd each pull a card and high card got to choose which chore to do next. (You can have two in mind to be chosen from.) My goal was to have things better than when we started, even if not perfect. Using a dry swiffer on the floors was a favorite. So was being given a wipe to go wipe an area that was prone to finger prints, refrigerator door, door handles, walls.
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Chores are good. My DH's favorite tool is a lightweight, battery-operated stick vacuum. Every morning after breakfast, he begins by running it under the breakfast table (where there are usually crumbs he has dropped on the floor); then, he runs it through most of the downstairs, sometimes several times. Washing dishes when there aren't a lot is good too. He will wash them after breakfast and lunch. I use acrylic glasses since he has broken a lot of glass ones. I try to put dishes and silverware away because he may not put them in a place where I can easily find them.
I am so appreciative of the people who use this discussion board. Even though I rarely comment, I check it several times a day.
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Throughout the years, games like Uno, Bingo, Scrabble, Wordsearch worked well. There was a local educational game store that I would go to and find what might interest my mom. There were trivia, skill or word games I'd try. She also liked to exercise, so I could put an armchair exercise show on the tv and she would do that. She colored a lot. I would find books with images that weren't so intricate for her. Later, I found water painting sets. They are called aqua paint from Relish. That company also has other activity ideas. She would do a bean bag toss game. I would just keep trying different things. Those activity blankets never worked for her.
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he certainly might! Good idea
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A stick vacuum! That’s the greatest! DH has been blowing out the garage, I hadn’t thought of those little house ones. ….he who makes the crumbs can vacuum them up!
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Oh I thoroughly second the vacuum. Was my partner's favorite activity. She would do it daily and say "I haven't vacuumed in weeks." Now I have a Rhoomba.
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I wonder if PWD like vacuuming because the noise allows them to tune out the world and "get lost" in their thoughts. I don't love vacuuming but it was always good for some "alone" time when we had kids at home, and DH always said he liked mowing the yard for that reason. There is also a rhythm to vacuuming and the rhythm/music area is one of the last parts of the brain to be devastated by dementia.
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I found some larger piece puzzles that my husband used to be able to do (now I place the pieces and he pushes them in) - search for dementia puzzles on Amazon. I also recommend photography books - coffee table books, not kids picture books. My husband loves animals and can spend lots of time going through dog or horse books (highly recommend the books from The Dogist).
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My DH loved paint by numbers until he couldn't remember where he was painting after dipping the brush into the paint. He got so frustrated and was deeply devastated by being reminded of the disease. He also enjoyed working on larger size jigsaw puzzles until he couldn't and got frustrated with them, too. The months prior to placement, he literally sat in his lounge chair doing nothing all day. Some days he'd go upstairs around 6pm to "go to bed" refusing dinner. But when I started cooking or heating up leftovers, the aroma of food would draw him back downstairs. And he'd ask, "do you have enough for me?" "Of course!" I'd answer in the most cheerful voice I could muster, as tears rolled down my throat into my stomach. I suppose you can just keep trying different things until it doesn't work anymore.
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I find it so touching (and yes, I agree it's sad) that he would ask if there's enough for him. He cared about you having enough to eat. It brought a tear to me, just reading that.
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I remember seeing "paint by number", or similar, where the paint is in the page and the water releases the color. Maybe that would work.
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Commonly Used Abbreviations
DH = Dear Husband
DW= Dear Wife, Darling Wife
LO = Loved One
ES = Early Stage
EO = Early Onset
FTD = Frontotemporal Dementia
VD = Vascular Dementia
MC = Memory Care
AL = Assisted Living
POA = Power of Attorney
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