Once more on driving

Ed1937

We all know that taking the keys is almost always one of the hardest things to do. We try to rationalize that letting them drive just in the neighborhood is the right thing to do. That way we don't take away their independence, and it keeps them less agitated. And we don't want the fight. But get this in your head. You are not taking their independence away. The disease is.

We have to accept the fact that they are either competent or they are not. If you wouldn't let your grandchild ride on a highway with them, there is a reason for that. They could be killed!! Please make good decisions when confronted with this problem. There are many things to try when it's time to take the keys. Do a Google search or simply search the forums for pointers. Try to get the job done in a way that your LO can't blame you because they can't drive anymore. Ask the doctor to help you. They can tell them driving is no longer safe, and they must give up the keys. The doctor becomes the bad guy, and they don't live with him/her. If nothing works, and the doctor won't help, ask for help from the police. Do whatever it takes, but get the job done. Someone's life might depend on it.

I'll leave it up to others to help you understand reasons why driving may not be acceptable. I'm pretty sure others will chime in on this.

Rae4

Having a doctor be the “bad” guy is good advice, just be sure you communicate with the doctor in advance so they are on board with your thoughts. I did not do that and it backfired on me. I took my mom to her PCP for a follow up after the diagnosis from the neurologist. He asked about any concerns which I promptly replied that I was concerned about driving. I told him she had gotten lost and I was worried about her reflexes and remembering what to do at a stop sign or traffic light. He turned to her and ask how she felt she was doing with driving and of course she said she was fine and had been driving since she was 12 years old on the farm. The doctor replied, I think you’re fine to drive just stay off the highway. I could have passed out then and there! I was so mad! Couldn’t believe he was giving permission for a cognitively impaired person to drive. She had just been diagnosed with mild to moderate dementia for goodness sakes. I stewed about this for a few weeks trying to figure out what to do and finally came up with the idea of replacing her key fob with a look a like one that didn’t work. Before I could buy the fob she fell in the parking lot behind her car and broke her pelvis. Needless to say she never saw that doctor again or drove again. She still asks me to bring her car to AL and now she stage six.

Caro_Lynne

Excellent post and reminder Ed. Wish there was a way to pin this post at top since I think driving is one of the top issues we all deal with. xo

charley0419

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/68112/once-more-on-driving

Need Nurologist to tell her to her face. I've been through this over 7 months and still hear about it. Just sold car last week

Jgirl57

My HWD/Alz accepted much easier than I thought he would that driving was no longer an option. I did also buy steering wheels locks and told my HWD that we get a discount on our insurance if we put them on the steering wheels. He does not know that it came with an extra key and I told him due to security that type of key that can not be copied. He frowns when I put the locks on after we have been in the car but I don’t make eye contact and just secure the wheel.

Ed1937

Jgirl, that's brilliant! I love the locks.

Jgirl57

Another poster quite sometime ago put the steering wheel lock on their parents car and I thought it was terrific idea. That is why this forum is so great .Learning from one another