Life is just one endless round of show and tell

tigersmom

Hello, fellow travelers. I am posting about something that I'm dealing with that I have not seen posts about before. DH was Dxd 6/21; I estimate him as mid-stage 5 now. In the early days post-diagnosis, he scribbled furiously in little notebooks, trying to hold onto names and memories of things (he was a physician). Now, 2.5 years later, he carries many of those piles of paper in little cases on his person and produces them to show people without the slightest provocation. Where he had licenses, police courtesy cards, the contents of his wallet, the insignia on his hat, you name it; it all comes out as soon as he sits down with someone else (and with me, too, of course). It is driving me batty. I can usually get him to put it away, but then it all comes back out a few moments later. Today we had lunch with one of my oldest friends and her husband, who were visiting our city, and it happened constantly. At home, he sits in bed and fiddles with this stuff constantly. Has anyone else dealt with this?

terei

If it was me, I would wait til he was asleep + disappear all of it. If he asks where it is, claim no knowledge. Be warned though, he might become obsessed with something else that you wont like or dislike more than what he is doing now.

l7pla1w2

Not quite the same, but DW makes notes to herself, cuts out pieces of paper from mail, music and theater programs, cuts up emails. These scraps of paper litter her desk. As she sifts through the clutter, she will fixate on one and ask me the same questions over and over. Did I do this? (Usually months ago or months in the future.) Do you know what this means? Have we sent them (charities) money?

I've also gotten advice to make this stuff disappear, and I do that occasionally (by shredding, otherwise she finds it in the trash), but I can't bring myself to get rid of all of it.

M1

My partner does it too tigersmom. Since she's been in MC, it usually consists of multiple little pieces of paper with my phone number on it and a few other random things (for instance, the OT wrote down her name for her when she was introduced). She fidgets with them constantly, and if removed or thrown away she'll just start over with something else. It's an interesting phenomenon. So many little quirks to this disease-the fidgeting, the constant packing up/moving things around, for some the wandering and inability to sit still. I'm guessing but i think it just depends on where the brain damage is.

GiGi1963

My husband brings out his wallet and goes through all the cards and money many times at home and out. There is nothing in it now except fake cards. He had a $5 but it fell out and dog ate it. He also spends good part of day trying on hats and arranging his shoes. Very sad.

sandwichone123

I feel like it's a harmless enough way for dh to remind himself of his life. But if it makes you crazy, that's reason enough to try to get him onto something else. If he needs to fidget, though, he'll still need to fidget, so make sure to find something for him.

My dh carries a book around with him all the time, although it's been months since he could read at all. I figure it's part of his identity as a reader, and I'm happy he has a way to let caregivers know who he is.

LJCHR

Like GiGi1963, my DH is obsessed with taking his money out of his wallet and counting it. When we go somewhere, I take out most of his cash and hide it until we return. Then I put it back and he is none the wiser. I had to start doing this as recently he cleaned out his wallet. I don’t know when or where but he takes all of his money out at once. He keeps several hundred in there and I was shocked to see an empty wallet. Unfortunately just another thing of “to do’s” added to my task.

Sadly, the good thing is he never remembers how much is in there….,so I get by with removing it before we go places.

GothicGremlin

My sister did similar things right around that stage. Not with pieces of paper, but with her "stuff." Just random items, although as I think about it, there was a lot of activity around photos. We always had a lot of loose photos in boxes and those were prime targets.

Jgirl57

My HWD/Alz is very proud of his college degree and often shoves his hand in strangers faces to show off his college ring .This is usually if he is passing by someone who is wearing a college logo clothing. It is getting harder to redirect him when he starts talking to strangers .At home he has “files” that he is always going through . A strange disease for sure

tigersmom

Thanks so much to all who replied. As always, it is comforting to know that I am not in this alone. @GothicGremlin , did Peggy ever stop doing this? And @Jgirl57 , mine is getting harder to redirect as well. He chats up everyone on the subway, where the unspoken rule is to not make eye contact, watch your space and above all, don't talk except to excuse yourself. I am still astounded by how kind people have been and continue to be.

Brokenhearted in Illinois

For me, I just let it be. I feel that My DH is just trying to hold on to the world he know he it’s leaving. 😞

GothicGremlin

@tigersmom Yeah, she eventually stopped. But that behavior lasted a long time - close to mid-stage 6, I'd say.

Denise1847

My DH picks his face all the time and makes scars and pimples. I can't get his to stop so I say nothing. I already took to a dermatologist to have his last creation removed.