Aggressive

Janutt

Hello,

was wondering if others might have said some harsh words when normally speaking you don’t? I have recently and I feel bad. I apologized for it. I would never have before this disease so I’m at a loss afraid to open my mouth because of saying something bad. I also had a rough day. I thought or I was confused by the day. Mixing up the day with my past. Everything just blended together

Iris L.

Try not to put pressure on yourself, Janutt. Stress and anxiety make your cognition worse.

Iris

Janutt

Iris,

Thank you! But, unfortunately this person started on me again as if it was no big deal. I never slept because I was afraid to open my mouth as this person talked negatively about such and such.. I will do my best to not put pressure on myself.

Iris L.

Janutt, your life has changed dramatically with your new diagnosis. You and your family have the option of choosing to make changes proactively instead of reactively after something bad happens. One of our emeritus members, Alan in Colorado, who was himself a psychologist, used to warn us that stress and anxiety reduce our cognition by HALF! So it is very important for people like us to limit stress and anxiety as much as possible.

We are already compromised by pathology, we don't need external issues. In my case, I realized that I will have to seek out ways to make my life EASIER. In our American modern-day culture, we seem to want to complicate everything, and to get bragging rights for living in a complicated world. Those days are over for me.

Janutt, you will have to decide if you want to put boundaries in your world, and how much. The sad thing is that other people won't respect your boundaries, because they don't understand why you need new boundaries. You have the option of trying to explain, or not. Most people, including many family members, just won't get it. But do you have time to coddle them, when your own world is so chaotic and falling apart? Think about this. This is YOUR Life. Do what you need to do to make your life work for you!

I have read often that PWDs may speak harshly to their LOs. IMHO, the PWDs often get stressed and overwhelmed, and then a lot of negativity comes out of their mouths. PWDs may tend to lose the filter that helps to keep us polite in public. So this is why I believe that staying calm and unstressed is so IMPORTANT for a person living with dementia. A less stressed life will take a lot of creative thinking because our default mode is stressed and overburdened. But this is our challenge.

Iris

Janutt

Hi Iris,

thank you for your help. They’re dealing with it their own way. I will learn to keep on taking care of myself as much as possible. I never would “fly off the handle” before this disease but again I now have to accept it and that’s my “new” me whether I like it or not. Of course I don’t, but I’m not going around bragging about it either not worth it.

jrnyon

Iris, your comments and guidance is so helpful to me as I am struggling with alz diagnosis and all of the changes in life now. Bless you for your honesty and kindness. Karen

Iris L.

Janutt, the majority of PWDs don't have awareness of having dementia. They cannot be faulted for flying off the handle.

But for people who do have awareness, no one knows how much the disease progress can be modified by environmental measures. This is why I am big on promoting avoiding stress and maintaining a consistent, comfortable environment.

It can be hard when other people don't understand the necessity for calmness and consistency and a pleasant environment, since all of these are the opposite of our modern world. But I learned about these measures from emeritus members, such as Alan in Colorado, alz+, His Daughter and many others, too numerous to count.

How are you doing, Karen? If you are struggling, if there is anything you wish to share, or any way that we can help, please post. We have to support each other!

Iris

Janutt

Hi Iris,

When my memory had started to decline about 4 years ago I knew something wasn’t right, but I had thought this could be related to the rare type of heart attack I had. I also had memory issues that occurred during work about 8 years ago. i would call it “some-timers”. When it was confirmed I would sometimes think maybe this isn’t true since I can remember certain parts of my life. Then I guess I was denial at times. How come this is happening to me I took care of myself. Then I now go through this agitation which I thought was aggressiveness. I despise this with a passion. I was told by someone living with this disease it’s a BEAST!!!I totally agree.

Why is it that I am aware of PWD? I was afraid to post anything because of “people” seeing what i post. Is this paranoia? Is this common?

What about stages? I have heard of stages. Is this something to be concerned about?

Hi Karen; jrnyon,

I am sorry to hear about your diagnosis. Hopefully you can find support on this site.

Thanks

Iris L.

Hello Janutt. It's very likely that your memory and other cognitive problems are related to your heart attack. Your brain probably lost oxygen and necessary brain nutrients and started or progressed dementia brain pathology.

Nevertheless, we almost never truly know why we are in the condition we are in. Even people who take very good care of themselves can develop dementia. There is a component that is genetic and a component that comes with the aging process.

We may not be able to prevent but we can deal with what we have. The majority of PWDs are unaware of having dementia, but that means that there are still a number of PWDs who are aware of having dementia.

As far as "people" seeing what you write, no one reads these boards except people who are affected by dementia. For the most part, we are invisible. But you may be talking about the feeling of paranoia thst you have. It may be part of the disease. One of our emeritus members, alz+, taught us something that I found to be very interesting and very useful. She said, when we come to something unusual or scary, instead of withdrawing, look at it and examine it. What is it doing? What does it mean for you? I learned a lot from her.

The stages are a way of monitoring the progression of the illness. Doctors usually use a simple system of mild or early, moderate or mid, or advanced or late stage dementia. Others have developed systems that break the progression of behaviors into seven stages. This is to better help the caregivers adapt to changing care needs. The stages are not precise. The stages do not predict how long a PWD will be in each stage. The stages do not predict mortality. I think that knowing the stages can be useful in making plans for the future.

Iris

Janutt

Hi Iris,

Thank you again. After thinking about the why and how this happened, dementia. I had to go over the many pages of doctor's notes and found that it was the cause of my heart attack that had exasperated me to have EOD. I am the 3rd generation to have this disease. I am so far the only cousin, niece, grandchild to have it.

Although, I did talk to one of my cousins, her dad/my uncle passed away from this too. She was telling me that she has the gene for it as well as Parkinson’s. I too have the gene for Parkinson’s. Again this would be the 3rd generation if either one of us get Parkinson’s.

The stages. I was considered to have EOA, because I was diagnosed at 55 years old. My cousin was thinking that her dad had his diagnosis when he was 60. He passed away I believe at 73. My dad had it too, but I don’t remeber when he had it either, and unfortunately I can’t ask him.

These last few days I have been struggling to do the normal everyday thisng such as making the bed, finding items, or baking. I had no idea how to make the bed with clean sheets. Every time I tried it just wouldn’t work out. I was getting very frustrated , but thankfully I had a family hear me and came to my rescue. Again cooking/baking I am getting lost with directions more and more. I got some help. Such a simple fun task to do.

I will be having a Zoom call in the summer with my neurologist. So, we shall see.

How long have you been living with dementia? How did you find out? How did you feel? I’m grateful to have some help from you and many others.

Thank you

Iris L.

Hello Janutt. I don't have dementia, my diagnosis is cognitive impairment not otherwise specified. The odd thing is that I began having significant memory loss in 1987, such thst I could no longer perform my professional career. At the time I and my doctors thought this was related to stress and that I would regain my faculties after a brief time away from work. But that was not to be. It was not until late 2008 that I had an official diagnosis of cognitive impairment, with medication beginning in 2009.

None of my direct ancestors have had Alzheimer's Disease, but I do have one aunt who I believe I am following after. She could take care of herself but she could not work, after two strokes. I am aware that cardiovascular diseases contribute to brain impairment and dementia, so I devote a lot of attention to my heart and blood vessels, also to blood sugar control.

I had a lot of difficulty performing tasks. What helped me was mindfulness. I broke down a task into individual steps and did each step one at a time. Sometimes, to reinforce, I would speak to myself out loud what step I was doing, and take deep breaths in between steps. In this way, I was able to accomplish what I intended. After a while, my confidence grew because I realized that I was still able to perform tasks.

Nevertheless, my life is not normal. I have had to make accommodations. My aim is to maintain my ability to live independently, and at the same time, to enjoy my life. I'm not going to live the rest of my life miserably. I learned quite a lot from the members. Peer support is vital!

Iris

Janutt

Hello Iris,

Oh interesting. I’m sorry that you had noticed the memory loss back in 1987. It took a while for you to be diagnosed with cognitive impairment. Well I agree with you to live your life the best, the fullest and the happiest.

Now is there a difference with cognitive impairment and Dementia? A cure for this? Techniques to live fully for you?

That is what I do most times or that I write out a list of what to do. I go back to the list quite often and cross out each “chore” I have done and go onto the next. It’s not a big list as I try to keep it simple.

I am so happy to have found the discussion group. I joined our Zoom one as well. That is quite comforting too. I can relate or shall I say many of us can. Some of them are stating the trial for the new medicine. I can’t remember the name, but I knew it began with L.

Iris L.

Leqembi

What is the Zoom discussion group?

Iris

Janutt

Yes, Leqembi.

The Alzheimer’s Association support group in our area where i live.