Yet another post on driving…

LaneyG

I’m getting no where on this. This in a way is another vent . I’m at wits end. I’m looking for a magic answer where there isn’t one. Searching anyway. Since DH was discharged from hospital he has been doing so much better. At the time of hospitalization I thought he was stage 5. He is back to maybe mid stage 4. But he has renewed energy to pursue the driving thing. At this point in time the driving thing is the only thing that is causing major outbursts and threats to leave me and feelings that he no longer trusts me to do what is best for him. He just wants to drive. Thing is he puts outs very clear logical arguments and tries to negotiate. Ex. He is willing to just drive with me in the car. He’s never been in an accident etc etc. This is killing both of us. If I do something sneaky with the car he will know I instigated it. I fear that would cause him to escalate further. He doesn’t believe me when I explain why he can’t drive. I then remind myself one can’t reason with dementia. I can’t get him to let this go. If he just takes off, I guess I’d dial 911. What will police do? Will they bring him home? Hospitalize someone for wanting to drive their car? Maybe I should call police and get their take? Maybe I need to be the one to call registry tho supposedly his doc sent in paperwork. Will registry take acton while granting anonymity?

M1

Yes and yes, call the police for advice, and call the DMV. My partner was also mid stage 4 when this was the issue that put her in the hospital for threats against me and thus in MC Laney. Two years later she still talks about finding her truck and taking off. And of course she has no memory at all of what really happened---for what it's worth she's no longer angry with me. It's amazing what a huge deal this is. I'm so sorry......i wish i had more concrete ideas to help. I had to keep all of the keys for her two vehicles and mine on my person or hidden at all times. If you have to disable the car, just lie like hell. Do you have a mechanic that you know and trust? Maybe they could give you ideas. Sugar in the gas tank? That would be very hard for him to detect. Even though he seems astute, he might not put two and two together.....

debriesea

My DH is still mild/mod. I feel your pain and I’m only 2 months into this. 😬

mrahope

I will also say that most of DH's angry outbursts involve driving, though that is not the only issue. In our state, anyone can report an impaired driver, and the DMV will not tell the individual who reported them. This protection is written right onto the form. Please investigate to see it your state has such a form. If you can do this, it will allow the police to do more, I think. It's worth looking into. Also, at this point I literally disappeared one set of keys (handed to DS) and keep the other on my person or literally under my pillow while sleeping. It's no way to live, but if it keeps him and other safe, it has to happen.

upstateAnn

You can get a lock on the steering wheel.