Uncomfortable question

allit

https://alzconnected.org/discussion/comment/218130#Comment_218130

after i posted this, i read this article. a pretty detailed description of a woman with Alzheimer's who followed through with the decision. hard to read.

https://www.nytimes.com/2015/05/17/magazine/the-last-day-of-her-life.html

midge333

@allit: Thanks for sharing the article.

ZON34MB

Diane Rehm has written about this topic and the latest book is "When My Time Comes"

deemullins

> @kgorlick said:
> My DH watched his parents both go through Alzheimer's/Dementia and it terrified him. He always said "if I ever get like that please let me take my life". He was serious. Now he is at the beginning of this awful disease and on numerous occasions he has said to please let him take his life and "please don't let me live like that"... it's horrifying. One of the many times he talked about it ended up with him going to a 51/50 hold at a psychiatric hospital and it was an awful place that he really didn't need to be at. It was just for his safety but it was really bad. He made me promise to never let him go to a place like that again. He's smart enough now not to say things to his doctors that would land him in another psychiatric hospital but when he says those things to me it's horrible. I did tell our kids so I'm not the only one that knows what he says but has anyone else experienced anything like this? TYIA

I Know what you are hearing. Listening to these words is terrifying and having seen and been primary caregiver for his mother was just heartbreaking. Seven years she went through the process. Escalation was horrifying to see and we did have to use a facility to help with her care. We were lucky to have such a wonderful staff and very caring. He saw this but still gets his "black moods" where he is dead serious about "leaving me in the woods". Hang in there and let him know he is YOUR support and must be strong for you. You are in this together. Be well and stay strong. Faith and God are also BIG supports. God Bless

Leesee

This thread is difficult to read.

The first words my DH said when told he had tested positive for Alzheimer's were "I want to kill myself." I realize this was a knee-jerk reaction from his experiences with family; fortunately he hasn't brought it up since. However, his negativity toward everything in life has increased as the disease progresses and I've been thinking lately that he might approach this topic again.

I met with my elder care attorney a couple of weeks ago and she was excited to tell me about a new drug (?) that helps late stage Alzheimer's. I told her I have a moral issue with keeping people lingering in the final stages of Alzheimer's. No one would willingly live like that.

Thank you all for talking about the hard stuff that no one else understands.

starwood

Yes, it’s an uncomfortable topic, but it’s a real issue. My DH said early on in his diagnosis that he did not want to live if he had no quality of life and that he couldn’t tolerate the idea of being a burden on his family. He was quite adamant about it and requested that I honor his wishes. His dementia progressed fairly rapidly and he never acted on it, but I think would have found a way. My only response was to remind him of the impact suicide would have on his children and grandchildren, all of whom would have been devastated. Frankly, should I be in his place, I would feel the same. It seems to me that our society deals more compassionately with animals than with human beings who understand what their future holds. I’ve often wished I lived in a state with assisted suicide laws in place.