Laundry smell

Katielu

So, some background. Last night I went out for two hours with two friends, their husbands too DH out. We all had a bite ti eat. The guys were great and out my DH in the middle so he would always be part of the conversation, they took him home when we started to seem anxious and texted us when they were headed home. He got home 10-15 minutes before me.

when I got home he had on a different shirt and pajama pants… strange, he stays in his jeans until bedtime Every night!! I didn’t think much about it, he said he was cold.

Today I grabbed the laundry hamper and when I opened it, the smell of urine hit me, I pulled out the clothes and the crotch of his jeans is very wet and smells of urine, as does his underwear. What??? I know this will come, but he does not seem to be at this point and it has never happened before. Did he just not quite make it? I am totally shocked.

anyone have anything for me here?

JDancer

My husband's only incontinence issue came at the end of a long road trip. He declined the bathroom at gas stations, but wet himself as we were unpacking the car at our destination. He said, " I peed."

I would blame the situation. The friends probably didn't prompt (or assist) a trip to the bathroom, maybe sitting in the middle made a bathroom trip complicated, maybe he consumed a lot of liquid while out, may have been slightly disoriented entering the house alone, etc...hopefully it's a one off.

I'm impressed he got into dry clothes and put the wet things in the laundry.

Jeanne C.

Ok. So we recently hit this milestone. I didn't think we were there yet but then one accident. Then a couple but overnight. Then a couple during the day. Now it's a daily occurrence. I try to prompt him and I dress him in sweats as I think the jeans are a bit too much. His first accident was in October. He's in diapers full-time now.

That being said, it could be a one-off. Maybe it was the change of routine (awesome that your friends made him feel so included btw). Just pay attention. And yes, he will try to hide it because it's personal and embarrassing and they struggle with it.

Strength to you on this journey.

PS I rinse everything in the stationary tub and then use lysol laundry sanitizer in the wash. Works so far.

Katielu

Thank you. We have great friends. I did not mention this to my DH at all. I just keep on rolling.

Thanks for the support.

harshedbuzz

@Katielu

This is probably an example of how much scaffolding you are providing with his IADLs without realizing it. I've known caregivers who were able to "delay incontinence" with a rigid toileting schedule. My mom mostly did this with dad so long as he was in a cooperative mood.

This is likely a harbinger of what's to come-- perhaps not this week, but down the line. Consider it a warning to get prepared for this eventuality. If you haven't protected your bed with a 6-sided zippered waterproof cover, do that now. It might be prudent to have some incontinence products on hand just in case; they can be handy for situations like the other night where you aren't there to prompt him or are uncertain of the access to restrooms.

HB

ButterflyWings

@Katielu I agree with all the comments above. Maybe his anxiety in needing to leave a few minutes early was actually an "I need to use it" and he couldn't articulate that. Perhaps he did not even recall there is a place to use the facilities at the restaurant, rather than going home to use the bathroom. It could have been worse!

In addition to getting your mattress and linens protected now, I encourage you to buy incontinence briefs, take them out of the package and just put them in his underwear drawer. I actually removed all of DH's regular underwear at this stage and put the gray Depends in its place. He automatically started wearing them one day, I never had to discuss it with him. And the smelly laundry plus occasional leaks and drips on the floors stopped. (Except for when he had a UTI. Then, it was sudden waterworks. Everywhere. Among other over the top behavior. But that is another post). Congrats that you handled it as you did! And bless him for trying.

Note, the OTC briefs were not absorbent enough within a few months and we had to switch to a more professional brand of incontinence briefs, but they worked when he was just at the beginning stages of losing control of this bodily function as dementia progressed. I got the idea to disappear his old underwear and replace them with Depends, here. SO glad it worked! He asked me weeks later once, if that was his underwear and I said "yes, I love them. Got me some too. Saves us on laundry!" yada yada (Also learned that here) I don't even think he was listening. He'd been voluntarily wearing them on his own. thank goodness.

Now, as time went on, getting him to change out of wet incontinence briefs was sometimes an issue, but we cross each bridge as we come to it, don't we?! FYI, you may find it helpful to use protective pads on any fabric chairs or sofas that you love.

Katielu

Butterfly wings,

I love the idea of just sliding them in his drawer! This is why I love to put the issues here, so many people with experience. Thank you for the suggestion.

As mentioned above, time to get prepared, just in case.