2 Parents with dementia & memory care

amyg1970

Hello, new to the group. I have both my parents in memory care against their will. I know it's where they need to be, but they are both in denial that they cannot go back to their home and "live their life". They are blaming me for their situation and it breaks my heart. Anyone else in a similar situation?

Anonymousjpl123

Yes. Sadly, as my mom has progressed, it has mattered less to her that she is there (although she does still complain). It’s a terrible disease. I think people miss their old lives, what they had. Much easier to blame the decision-maker/care giver.

The only thing I have found that helps is finding things my mom likes - special lunches, tv shows, clothing, visits, etc. I’m not sure how far advanced your parents are and if they can leave, but if not, perhaps you can bring them magazines to look through, snacks, anything to make them feel more “normal.” This helped my mom especially in the beginning.

It is very normal to feel blamed and guilty, but neither is logical. I promise you did the right thing.

amyg1970

Thank you both for your responses. Life certainly didn't come with a playbook!